


Slow Burn

by myrthrilmercury



Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bisexuality, Biting, Crash Landing, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Dirty Talk, Fantasy Fulfillment, First Time, Friends With Benefits, God Delusions, Is there a rating beyond explicit?, Male-Female Friendship, Masturbation in Shower, Multi, Musical References, Mythology References, Nipple Piercings, Nipple Play, Open Relationships, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Questioning, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Scratching, Sexual Fantasy, Shower Sex, Sketches, Strangers to Lovers, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-28 22:26:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3872029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrthrilmercury/pseuds/myrthrilmercury
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the SOL crash lands on a desert planet in the middle of nowhere, the mechanic Mike finds manages to give the SOL a whole new lease on life, and Mike...a whole lot of other things.</p><p>Notes where necessary at the end of the chapters. An earlier version was posted to LiveJournal. Consider this the final, perfect version.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“BRACE FOR IMPACT!” 

The panel flashed frantically as the SOL shook violently and rapidly descended towards the planet in the nearest vicinity. Gypsy and Cambot had tried their hardest, but the asteroid that hit them was too big and had caused too much damage for them to stay in space much longer. Gypsy had managed to use the emergency thrusters to push the SOL to a nearby planet to at least have a somewhat safe spot to land, as opposed to floating in space without any power, but still…

Mike’s white knuckles ached as he curled up into a ball and held onto the counter near the theater doors. He pulled himself against the counter, trying to keep from losing his grip and flying towards the front of the SOL. Tom Servo had flown over his head screaming just a second ago—poor guy had no arms and couldn’t brace properly. Once they were out of this mess—if they got out—he needed to check on him. Assuming they all didn’t die first. This was when Mike really wished he believed in a God he could pray to right about now…

A cacophony of breaking glass, bending metal and crushed steel resounded through the air. Mike struggled to keep his grip on the counter, ignoring the pain, afraid of what would happen if he let go. The SOL bounced for what seemed like forever until finally, there was stillness, and silence. 

The air was eerily quiet. Mike opened his eyes and blinked a few times to get all the fireworks out.

“Hello?” he called out gingerly. 

Mike let go of the counter and looked around. Nothing moved.

“Is everyone okay?”

There was an uncomfortable silence. Mike pushed himself to his feet.

“Does this look okay to you?” came a voice from nearby.

“Crow!” Mike turned towards the voice and ran towards a steel beam to his left. When he pushed the beam aside, there was Crow, mangled, but thankfully still functioning.

“Oh, thank God.” Mike looked around. Cambot and Gypsy had made their way over.

“Where’s Tom?” Mike inquired.

“Jammed in the control panel up front,” Gypsy replied. 

“Is he all right?”

“Well, he’s screaming, so…yes?” 

Mike breathed a sigh of relief. At least they had all made it out of the crash alive. Now here was hoping they could get back up and running…  
***  
It took Mike half an hour to extract Tom from what used to be the control panel. Tom wasn’t too badly injured, all things considered, but the ship was in even worse shape than they had thought. Gypsy sat in front of the only working screen they had at that point watching the letters and numbers fly by as she waited for final test results and damage reports. Mike was finishing some minor repairs on Tom. Tom would be OK, but Mike could only do so much. Too bad his creator wasn’t here to help out.

“It looks like we’ve lost our main power source,” Gypsy announced. “Fortunately, it looks like this planet has one we can use.”

“Power source?” Mike repeated.

“Right. There are several different possible ways to power the SOL, but it looks like the only one accessible on this planet is one called orichalcium.” Gypsy leaned forward and tapped the screen with her lip to bring up a map. “The damage to the control panels will take some time for us to fix. But we can manage without them as long as we have the orichalcium. That’ll also get us back into space.” Gypsy tapped the screen a second time. “Once we get a hold of some of this, Cambot and I can start repairs. But he and I need to stay behind to keep the SOL at least moderately functioning.” 

“So, you’re saying we can get this orichalcium stuff on this planet?” Mike asked.

“Yep!” Gypsy chirped. “Shouldn’t be a problem for you. Fortunately, there’s oxygen on this planet, so you should be OK to go get some, right about…” Gypsy peered at the secondary map that popped up in front of her. “Here.”

“Just me?” Mike asked.

“Well, it looks like the inhabitants are generally humans,” Gypsy replied. “Like I said, Cambot and I need to stay behind to keep the SOL running so we don’t all die.” Gypsy leaned in closer to Mike. “And let’s be honest. How much help could Crow and Tom be with aliens?”

“Yeah, you have a point. So, where do I need to go?”

“It looks like we’ve crash landed near a village. If you go…” Gypsy gestured towards a house on the map. “Here, you should be able to get what you need.”

Mike shrugged. He hadn’t interacted with anyone besides the ‘bots, Pearl, and her minions for who knew how long, and it had been even longer since he had been outside of the SOL. The trip was suddenly a new and exciting change for him. “Sure, I’ll go get it.”

“Awesome! Once we get it, we’ll start working on it and should be good to go.”

“Go where?” Mike asked.

“Uh…” Gypsy’s eye flashed as she thought for a moment. “Off this planet? Eh, who knows. As long as we keep moving. Maybe we can go to Earth someday.” Gypsy began tilting from side to side. “Just keep moving, just keep moving, just keep moving…”

Mike took a few steps back. If anything was to drive him away from the ‘bots, it was unnecessary Disney references. “Right…I think I’ll go on ahead and try to find it…”  
***  
The area where they had crash landed looked like a desert in Arizona, as Mike remembered it from a previous visit with his family. But the village they had crashed nearby looked more like Tatooine than anything he had ever seen on Earth. Mike continued walking until he found a building that looked like the one that he had seen on Gypsy’s map on the control panel. There was a blue front door, and two potted cacti out front. This had to be it. 

Mike tried the front door and discovered it was unlocked. He opened the door and looked around. The room he had stepped into was not actually a house, but rather, a store. All sorts of oddly colored stones lined the shelves. A man clad in black leather leaned in a chair behind the counter, with his feet up on the counter next to the cash register. His black leather knee-high boots were scuffing up the countertop. The man also wore tight black leather pants and a black tank top that laced up on the sides. He turned his bright blue eyes towards Mike as he entered. Once he had finished looking his way up the man’s outfit, Mike immediately noticed his tousled short black hair and pale porcelain skin. 

“Hey, welcome,” the man said. “Looking for anything in particular?”

“Uh, yeah,” Mike replied. “Any…um, orichalcium?”

The man immediately perked up and sat up straight in his chair. He took his legs off the counter and swiveled around before standing up. “Yeah, we have some. Been awhile since anyone asked us for that.” He stood up and walked out from behind the counter. “Are you from Earth?” 

“How did you know that?” Mike asked with surprise.

“It’s their main power source on ships anymore.” The man continued walking towards Mike, who immediately noticed how tall and slender he was. “Unless something’s changed?”

“No, that’s what I was told I needed.” 

“OK, cool. Tell you what, we have a surplus. I can make a trade with you.” 

“That would be great. Anything in mind?”

The man shrugged. “Well, I’ll need to see the ship so I can figure out how much you need and what exactly we’re working with here. I can look at what you have too, so we can work out a trade from there. Sound fair?”

Mike nodded. “Perfectly fair. I’ll take you back there.”

“OK, cool. Just so I know who to ask for…what’s your name?”

“Mike,” Mike replied. “Mike Nelson.”

The man smiled. His lips were thin, but his bottom lip stuck out a little when he smiled. “OK, cool. I’m Yngwie.”

Mike grinned. “As in Malmsteen?”

Yngwie chuckled. “No, my last name’s Graham, actually. You know your music, though. I’m impressed.” Yngwie walked to Mike and extended his hand to him. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you,” Mike said as he shook Yngwie’s hand. Yngwie’s hand felt cool to the touch, somewhat calloused near the fingers, but otherwise soft—almost too soft for a man.

“OK, so where are you parked?” Yngwie asked. “I need to see what I’m working with.” 

“C’mon, I’ll show you,” Mike replied as he gestured towards the door. He stepped outside, with Yngwie following a slight distance behind.  
***  
The SOL was not too far from the village, so Mike and Yngwie didn’t have far to go. Mike was wondering if Yngwie would make it through the mangled hatch, but he was nimble enough to kick himself forward off the walls and propel himself upwards. How on earth Yngwie managed that was beyond Mike as he forced himself up what used to be a ladder with his arms burning the entire way. Mike hated to think of what might have happened to him had he not had decent arm strength.

“Robots!” Yngwie’s expression brightened as soon as he saw the ‘bots clustered in the SOL. “Haven’t seen these for some time now. Thought you Earthlings stopped making them.”

“I didn’t build them,” Mike admitted. “But I help out.” 

Yngwie smiled. “Whoever made these must have been a genius.” He waved to the ‘bots. “Hey, guys. I’m Yngwie. Who are you all?”

“Are you a Viking?” Tom immediately quipped.

Yngwie facepalmed. “No, I’m---why do all you Earthlings keep asking me that? Seriously, it was never funny.”

“That’s Tom Servo,” Mike said. He began pointing at all of the ‘bots. “That’s Crow, Gypsy, Cambot—“

“And me,” Magic Voice stated. 

“What the—“ Yngwie jumped. “God really is a woman?!”

“God?” Mike repeated. “No, that’s—“

“Why, yes,” Magic Voice immediately stated. “Thank you for noticing me, my faithful acolyte.”

Yngwie fell to his knees and clasped his hands in front of his chest. “Almighty God, please hear my prayers, that I may leave this desert hamlet—“

“You can go wherever you want later,” Magic Voice said. “But you have to help us first.”

“Yes, please!” Yngwie pleaded. “Anything!”

“We need the orichalcium to keep this ship running.”

“Of course, of course!” Yngwie, still on his knees, turned towards Mike. “Where do you need it?”

“Uh…” Mike began to think it was best to leave Yngwie to his delusions at this point. “Gypsy there knows more than I do about the SOL. She can show you.” 

“Yeah, OK.” Yngwie pushed himself to his feet and stepped up to Gypsy. “Can you show me where you need the orichalcium?”

“Uh…sure?” Gypsy was just as perplexed with Yngwie’s reaction to Magic Voice as Mike was. “Follow me.”  
***  
Yngwie emerged from the newly-formed hole in the control panel with his hair further messed up than it had previously been. Mike wondered why Yngwie wore leather as a manual laborer, but it probably didn’t matter. After all, this was a man who believed that Magic Voice was God.

“The good news is, I can fix this,” Yngwie announced. “The bad news is, it’ll take two days for the fixes to kick in. I have enough orichalcium for you, but now…” Yngwie turned his gaze towards Mike. “Now we just need to figure out some method of payment.” 

Mike nodded. “You said you wanted to trade, right?”

“Yeah. Can I see what you have aboard this ship? I’m sure there’s something to barter here.”

“Yeah, sure. Come with me.” Mike gestured towards Yngwie before heading towards his room.  
***  
Mike showed Yngwie his room and the rest of the SOL. He had plenty of stuff that he could barter, like his Millennium DVDs. But no, what Yngwie really wanted were the Hamdingers that were still in the area where an escape pod had once been. Why Yngwie wanted such disgusting things were beyond Mike, but if they got the SOL powered back up and back out in space, he was perfectly OK with handing them over. They appeared to be some sort of delicacy on this planet.

Since closing time had come and gone since Yngwie had been on the SOL, he told Mike that he would start first thing next morning. Mike agreed. After all, it wasn’t like they were going anywhere until the SOL was fixed.

Mike lay on his bed with a book he had picked up and mindlessly thumbed through the pages. He didn’t want to read, and didn’t want to do much of anything else either. Nothing was working, so it wasn’t like there was much else to do.

Yngwie…What an odd name. Then again, it seemed to suit him.

The leather. Why did he wear all that leather? He had a physical job. It was anything but functional. And yet, it seemed to suit him. Especially that slender figure, with the long legs and strong calves—

_Wait, what?!_

Mike recoiled in bed and shook his head. He hadn’t looked at a woman that closely at any recent point, let alone a man. Then again, it had been years since he’d gotten laid. Maybe that was the problem.

Or maybe he just needed to talk to someone. Someone who wasn’t Pearl or the ‘bots.

Mike left his room and jumped down the extremely mangled hatch.


	2. Chapter 2

The stars were beginning to come out as Mike opened the door to Yngwie’s shop. Yngwie was back in his relaxed pose with the latest issue of _Spaceship and Driver,_ with “Mississippi Queen” playing on the MP3 player sitting on the counter.

Yngwie looked up as Mike came in. “We’re clo—oh, hey, Mike!” Yngwie sat up and put the magazine down. “You need something?”

“Eh, not really.” Mike walked to the counter. “Getting a little stir crazy, I guess. So used to just being out in space.”

Yngwie smiled. “Wish I could do that.”

“I wish I could go back to Earth,” Mike stated.

“Yeah? What would you do there?’

Mike paused. He had always thought of going home, and formulated grand escape plans in his head…but what would he do when he got home? “I…don’t know, really.”

Yngwie chuckled. “I guess you miss home. Nothing wrong with that.”

“Yeah, I always have, since I’ve been in space,” Mike said. “Why do you want to be in space? I keep getting sent bad movies by this crazy woman with these two friends, one an ape, who—“

Yngwie’s chuckle turned to outright laughter. “A sapient? Really? Those are so weird. I haven’t dealt with them in awhile.”

“You know them?” Mike asked.

“Yeah, I get all kinds in this shop.” Yngwie stood up and gestured towards a closed door. “Tell you what, here’s not a good place. How about you come on back and we can talk more?”

“Yeah, sure.” 

Yngwie opened the door and led Mike to what looked more like a college dorm than an employee only area. There was a twin bed, a nightstand, a kitchenette, two kitchen cabinets, a folding table and two chairs, a small refrigerator, and a TV with rabbit ears in a 16x16 space.

“Wow, and I thought I had it bad,” Mike said.

“Yeah, that’s one reason I want out of here,” Yngwie stated as he opened the fridge. “I’m having some Jack and Coke. You want some?”

Mike nodded enthusiastically. It had been forever since he had any good alcohol. “Yeah, please.”

Yngwie grabbed two highball glasses out of the cabinets and began making drinks. “Been forever since I had guests. I don’t let just anyone back here.”

“Oh, really?” Mike asked, slightly amused. 

“Yeah.” Yngwie finished Mike’s drink and set it down on the folding table. “Lots of customers, but no one it feels like I can talk to.” He continued making his own drink.

Mike sat down in the chair where Yngwie had set his drink. “How come?”

“Well…” Yngwie finished his drink and sat down in the opposite chair. “How do I put this…they’re all business. Uptight. Doesn’t feel like I can really talk about anything.” Yngwie raised his glass. “Cheers.”

Mike raised his glass and clinked it against Yngwie’s. “Cheers.” Both of them took a swig of their drinks. Mike immediately jumped. “Wow. This is stronger than I remember.”

Yngwie smiled. “Haven’t had the good stuff in awhile, I take it?”

“No. But you were saying?”

“Well…” Yngwie took another drink before looking straight at Mike. “All anyone everyone does here is work. Day after day, same thing, never wanting to be any more than they are, never caring to know anything more than they do.” Yngwie quickly took another swig. “I want to see what’s out there. Even if I end up coming back here, I want to at least experience everything I can before I die working out front.”

Mike titled back his head and took a long drink. “Yeah, that…makes sense.” He shook his head. “But I didn’t come into space on my own free will.” 

“Trapped, then?” Yngwie finished his drink. “Evil scientist?”

“What—how did you…”

“It’s actually pretty common.” Yngwie took his glass to the kitchenette. “All sorts of scientists down there seem to be on power trips. Sending unsuspecting Earthlings to watch bad movies. Not that it really does anything, but they seem to think it’s some mind experiment or whatever.” Yngwie made himself another drink. “How do you feel about it?”

“Well…” Mike suddenly felt he could trust Yngwie and finished the rest of his drink. “It sucks, I’ll give you that. If I didn’t have the ‘bots, I don’t know what I’d do.”

“Those, uh, ’bots….” Yngwie repeated. “I wish I could meet whoever built those. Would you like another drink?”

“Yeah, sure.” Throwing caution to the wind, Mike pushed the glass across the table. His mind was screaming about what a terrible idea having another one was and he needed to get back to the SOL and the ‘bots were probably getting into trouble but…were they really going to go anywhere anytime soon? And when was the last time he got to talk to another friendly person, not a ‘bot, not Pearl, not one of her toadies?

“Okay.” Yngwie picked up the glass and began making Mike another drink. “Tell me about yourself. Tell me how you got here and how you ended up on my planet.”  
***  
Two hours and an entire bottle of Jack Daniels later, Yngwie knew Mike’s life story, how he ended up on the SOL, all about the ‘bots, all about Pearl and her minions, all of Mike’s favorite bands, his favorite movies, his Xbox Live gamer tag (m1dn1ghtpanth3r, seriously, after a hentai flick?), his favorite games, about the last bar he was at, that one girl he was eyeing, that clumsy attempt at flirting, that he hadn’t gotten any better at that since high school, that he was lonely and needed more friends, that the last time he was out like this, that he was out until 2 AM, and that clock said 2 AM, and—

“Holy shit!” Mike sort of jumped up, but staggered back from the alcohol. “Shit, it’s late. I need to get back—“

“Hey, no big deal. I’ll take you back.” Yngwie walked to the door, but his walk was more of a clumsy shuffle. “First thing tomorrow…right?”

“Tomorr…right. Sure. Need to orichalcium put the in the—um, put the in orichal—um, I mean, put in the orichalcium—“

“Know what you mean,” Yngwie replied with a slight slur. “Tomorrow.” He put his arm around Mike and helped him walk back to the SOL.

“Tomorrow,” Mike repeated as he leaned over and buried his face in Yngwie’s shoulder. Yngwie casually put his arm around Mike and effortlessly jumped up the mangled hatch, clutching onto Mike and pulling him up. It was impressive enough that he could do that sober, Mike thought. But after that bottle, how on earth did he do that? Was he powered by Jack or was this some alien thing?

Once they reached a flat area near the main counter, Yngwie let go of Mike. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“OK,” Mike replied. 

Yngwie staggered forward and reached out. He appeared to be reaching for Mike’s hand, but instead ended up grabbing his left thigh and squeezing it. Mike recoiled in shock and stood straight.

“Oh shit,” Yngwie slurred. “That’s not…your hand…I meant to—“ Yngwie shuffled to the hatch as quickly as he could. “Good night. Tomorrow.” 

“Good night,” Mike repeated in a monotone voice. He stood in place for a few moments before staggering back to his room.  
***  
“Hey Mike!” Gypsy yelled through the closed door. “He’s here!”

Mike turned in bed and pulled the pillow over his pounding head. The bright lights, the headache, the dry throat, and _oh God that hand on his thigh—_

Mike curled up into a ball when he thought about Yngwie’s hand. That meant nothing. It was an accident. He was drunk. They both were. It was a handshake. Nothing more. Nothing meant by that…

“I’ll be there in a minute.” Mike pushed himself out of bed and immediately began ransacking the piles in his room in search of clothes and ibuprofen.  
***  
By the time Mike was dressed and somewhat cognizant, Yngwie was already lying behind the control panel. Tools were scattered haphazardly around the area. Yngwie looked up at Mike before ignoring him and the ‘bots as he reached for a wrench and resumed his work. Yngwie’s MP3 player was on the floor nearby, and Yngwie bounced his right knee and mumble-hummed along to “Shoot to Thrill.” 

Mike leaned back against the wall and watched Yngwie work. He had no idea what was broken, what Yngwie was doing, or even how long he was going to take. All he knew was there was a tall, thin man in inappropriate leather for his job sprawled out on his back in front of him, glistening with sweat, tousled hair on his cheekbones, with those soft, nimble hands working on the SOL. And apparently those hands knew what they were doing, as the various screens scattered around the SOL began flickering back to life.

And one of those hands had been squeezing his thigh last night. Mike jumped a little at the recollection, his pulse quickening. 

Gypsy noticed Mike’s reaction and cocked her head. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Mike lied. “How long’s this going to take?”

“Give me another hour,” Yngwie stated without being asked. “But once I get the orichalcium in, it’ll still take two more days for it to fully charge all your systems.”

Mike frowned. Two more days of not moving. “OK.” 

“Like I said, I’m going to be here another hour. You all go do whatever the hell you want. Unless watching me is somehow entertaining.”

Mike turned around and headed back to his room. Crow and Tom also seemed bored and headed off to do God knows what, and all Mike knew is they had better not destroy anything else. Seriously, how did they manage to get all those holes in the one wall the other day?

Mike closed the door to his room and flopped back down on the bed. Maybe he could sleep it off. It had been so long since he had a hangover, he forgot how to deal with it. 

Well, it was fun while it had lasted. He hadn’t had that much fun, hadn’t drank that much, hadn’t talked that much, in forever. And maybe he shouldn’t have talked that much. Mike immediately resolved to get himself a new Xbox Live gamer tag once he got everything up and running. Seriously, a tag after a hentai flick he had once watched? Why Yngwie hadn’t laughed at it was beyond him, but—

Wait, maybe Yngwie had an Xbox Live gamer tag. 

Mike turned in his bed. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to go on raids with him from time to time. He could use the company. And he definitely needed a new headset to talk, since his was starting to go bad. It barely even worked anymore. Maybe he could go see some more of the village later. After all, he hadn’t been anywhere he could freely walk around outside of the SOL in years. Yngwie might know some good places to go. Bars, restaurants, maybe the odd tourist trap—

All of Mike’s thoughts immediately ceased when he remembered the hand on his thigh. His mind flashed forward to the sight of the leather-clad man sprawled out on the floor, glistening in sweat, that bottom lip quivering slightly when he concentrated really hard on something. Those blue eyes had been slightly distant as the alcohol flowed during the previous night, but suddenly became sharp when he realized where he had put his hand. Mike recalled the feeling of the hand on his thigh, the squeezing sensation, the long, nimble hand that was calloused, yet soft, almost too soft—

Mike sighed and pulled the pillow over his head again, blocking out the light. _Sleep it off,_ he told himself. _Just sleep it off. You’re still coming down._  
***  
A knock at the door immediately roused Mike from his nap. “Mike?” Yngwie said. “I’m done.”

“Oh. Right.” Mike stumbled out of bed and made his way to the door, which he slid open. “Uh, you said it needed some time to charge?”

Yngwie nodded. “Two days. The hard part on my end is done though. Now we just wait.” 

“Oh, okay. Cool.” There was a moment of silence that felt like ages to Mike. He felt the urge to say something to break the awkwardness. “Uh, you wanna come in?”

“Yeah, sure.” 

“Sorry my room’s such a mess,” Mike said as he kicked a pair of grey sweatpants towards the wall. 

“I wish I had enough space to sprawl out like this,” Yngwie said. “Seriously, this room is bigger than my entire living area.”

Mike pulled a bedsheet off the cubby hole where he kept his secret stash. “You want anything—“ Mike immediately noticed that all of the beer was gone. “Where did all my beer go?!”

Yngwie leaned over and peered into the cubby hole. “Looks like sabotage.” He knelt down and pushed on a small crack in the metal. A large chunk of the cubby hole fell to reveal an unconscious Crow and Tom, a pile of tools, and an empty case of beer.

“Goddammit!” Mike exclaimed. So this was what the two of them had been up to. 

“Well, that explains where the rest of my tools went,” Yngwie said as he reached through the hole and began reclaiming the purloined tools.

“I can’t leave them alone for a minute, I swear.” Mike stared at the scene in front of him. “I wonder if they can metabolize alcohol though.”

“If not, I suppose you could always replace the C4 and C5 circuits,” Yngwie stated. “Shouldn’t be too hard.”

“I have no idea what the hell those are or how I would even go about doing that,” Mike said as he threw the bedsheet back over the now-empty cubby hole. “So for now I’ll let them sleep it off.”

“Yeah, good idea.” Yngwie pulled out his phone and checked the time. “Looks like I only have three more hours left at work. Want to come by the shop later? I know a good place in town we can hang out.”

Mike nodded. Outside entertainment had been exactly what he was looking for. 

“All right, cool. I’ll see you later. Yngwie walked to the door, then turned and gave Mike a mischievous smile and a wave before leaving. When he saw the look in Yngwie’s eyes when Yngwie was looking directly at him, Mike couldn’t help but jump a little.

Mike sat down on his bed and idly thumbed the edges of the magazine he didn’t particularly care about. The energy level in the room seemed to drop now that he was alone. It was probably because he was by himself and things were boring again. Mike hadn’t realized how boring it was without the ‘bots up to their usual mischief. If the SOL were running on at least half of its previous power, there’d be more for them to do and they’d be a little less destructive.

Mike put the magazine aside and lay down on his back. He hadn’t really gotten a close look at Yngwie’s full outfit until today, but he immediately thought of the laces on the side of Yngwie’s top. It must have been a pain to lace those in the morning. All that skin on the side showed through the laces, so there was yet another inappropriate piece of work clothing. It was amazing the laces didn’t get stuck in anything. And how did those laces come off? Did you pull on one lace or both? Did it take more or less time to get out of the shirt when you were done? Maybe it was faster if you used both hands. Both hands could pull each lace away from the wearer, with the fingers moving up as each lace moved out of the holes, and the top would splay to the side, displaying more skin—

Mike’s thoughts immediately ceased and he shuddered when he realized that he was imagining himself undoing Yngwie’s top.

He needed to focus on something else. Mike headed to the bridge in search of some company.

“Ah, Mike! Perfect timing,” Magic Voice said as he arrived at the bridge. “I have a favor to ask.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

“Do you remember how Yngwie asked for help getting of this planet? I told him I would repay him for helping us.”

Mike nodded. There was the whole God delusion, but at this point, he was willing to just go with it. “Yeah. What about it?”

“Well, we were talking while he was working on the control panel and he’s been building himself a miniature spaceship. It’s almost finished, but he needs a specific power source and that can’t be found on this planet. Gypsy, Cambot, and I put our heads together and it turns out we have some of it in storage here. Could you go get it and give it to him the next time you see it?”

“Sure, shouldn’t be too hard. Where is it and what am I looking for?”

“Down in storage where you keep all the extra Ricochet Barbecue Sauce, there’s a metal container next to it containing a small pink stone, about the size of your hand; that looks like a diamond. That’s what he’s looking for. It’s pretty rare, so make sure it gets there in one piece.”

“OK. But how did we get ahold of it if it’s so rare and valuable?” 

“A few years back, the Mads accidentally shipped some up on the Umbilicus. Once Cambot realized what it was, he and Gypsy sealed it without telling anyone. You’ll need a crowbar to open that container. There should be one under the counter.”

“All right.” Mike got down on his hands and knees and crawled under the counter, pushing aside all sorts of paraphernalia until he found the crowbar. With the crowbar in hand, he headed down to the storage area and found the container Magic Voice described, while idly questioning what they should do with all of the Ricochet Barbecue Sauce. The container was no match for the crowbar and easily popped open. Mike pulled off the lid to discover the box was empty except for a stone that resembled pale pink quartz with no other markings. This had to be what Magic Voice was talking about. He picked up the stone and put it in his pocket.

Once Mike returned to the bridge, he checked the time. Two more hours left before he was going to go meet Yngwie. Mike went to go find the ‘bots and hang out for a bit. Maybe they’d help banish _those_ thoughts of Yngwie from his mind.


	3. Chapter 3

As he turned the doorknob, Mike wondered if Yngwie ever locked the door to the shop. If he kept this up, one day some burglar would come in and clean the place out.

…Then again, Yngwie would probably be perfectly fine with that.

Mike looked around the shop. The lights were down and the place was empty. The door behind the counter leading to Yngwie’s living area (dorm? efficiency? shoebox?) was cracked open. Mike walked behind the counter and found Yngwie on his bed sketching in a notebook.

“What are you drawing?”

Yngwie looked up. “Hey, didn’t hear you come in. I’m just working on some designs.” Yngwie turned the notebook towards Mike. The page he had been working on was covered in tribal designs and various occult symbols.

“Huh, I didn’t know you could draw. You just keep on surprising me.”

Yngwie smiled. “I’m thinking of getting another tattoo on my left arm, but I want to think it through first. I’d rather not be like someone I know who didn’t decipher the Chinese symbol that they thought looked cool. Now she’s walking around with ‘picnic table’ on her left shoulder.”

Mike shook his head. “Why you should not use foreign words unless you _understand_ them, example #1,233. You mean you have a tattoo already, though? I didn’t see one.”

“It’s on my right ankle, so you normally don’t see it,” Yngwie replied. He flipped to an earlier page in the notebook and pointed to what appeared to be an hourglass inside a circle. The hourglass looked like it had a diamond drawn in the center. “This is the alchemy symbol for the Magician tarot card.”

Mike nodded. Just when he thought he had Yngwie figured out, there was always more he didn’t know. “I don’t know my tarot cards. What does it mean?”

“Well...” Yngwie pulled a Magician tarot card out of the back of the notebook and pulled it out. “Lots of symbols there that would take forever to explain, but the Magician has the alchemy symbols of the four elements. It’s meant to symbolize the appropriate use of heart, body, soul and mind in the process of manifestation. When you get an upright Magician during a tarot reading, it means power, skill, action, concentration, and resourcefulness. It’s meant as a reminder to keep myself focused on what I need to do to accomplish what I want in life, and also a reminder that yes, I am able to do these things. I just have to believe in myself.”

Mike had not expected something so philosophical from a man who could put away half a bottle of Jack Daniels in almost nothing flat, wore leather despite a physical job, and thought that Magic Voice was God.  
“…Wow. That’s really deep.”

Yngwie beamed, and Mike realized this was the first time he saw the man truly smile, not just flash one of his friendly, mischievous grins. “People usually don’t care enough to ask me about that.” 

“Well…” Mike ignored the Klaxon alarm in his head telling him he was about to say something really, really stupid. “You fascinate me and I want to get to know you better.”

There was that genuine smile again. “Likewise,” Yngwie said as he got off the bed and walked over to Mike. 

“Well, you wanted to go somewhere? We’ve pretty much got all night to hang out. Crow and Tom are still sleeping off the booze.”

“Yeah, I know a good place on the other end of town. The friend with the badly thought out tattoo I mentioned works there. Want to head out?”

“Yeah, sure.”  
***  
“No, _ranch,_ ” Mike insisted. “That’s the only thing that goes with wings. Who the hell orders bleu cheese?”

“Me,” Yngwie replied with mock offense as he put another handful of wings from the larger plate in the middle of the table onto the smaller plate in front of him. “I don’t know why they give you celery whenever you order wings though. Seriously, fuck celery. If I wanted vegetables, I’d have ordered a salad.”

“On this we agree,” Mike replied. “Besides, if you want vegetables, you’re definitely in the wrong place. Unless fried jalapenos count.” He took another bite of his double bacon cheeseburger. While this place had almost everything, unfortunately this planet seemed to lack ketchup. 

“Are jalapenos a vegetable?” Yngwie wondered aloud. 

“Well, they sure as hell aren’t a fruit. At least, I don’t think so.” Mike noticed the waitress from out of the corner of his eye. “Never mind that. Drinks are here.”

The waitress was a fairly short blonde woman, maybe 5’4”, with a shoulder length bob haircut, bright green eyes, and red lipstick. Maybe she wore the lipstick to distinguish herself from the loud outfit she wore: a low-cut Army camouflage tank top, a short black denim skirt that barely touched her thighs, full-length fishnet stockings, and black combat boots. _Seriously,_ Mike wondered, _does anyone dress normally on this planet?_ Not that he had many complaints about the skirt or the view of cleavage though…

“Hey, Mandy,” Yngwie said to the girl as she put down their drink orders in front of them. For Mike, it was a second Sazerac. For Yngwie, it was a sampler of three shots of different tequilas and a Rusty Nail.

“Oh, hey, Yngwie!” Mandy’s expression brightened. “I haven’t seen you here in some time. How’s it going?”

“I’ve been working on a spaceship that’s been taking up most of my time,” Yngwie replied. “Besides, I’m on a job now.” He gestured towards Mike. “This is Mike. He’s from Earth. The ship took a beating from an asteroid and he crash landed here yesterday. It’ll take a couple more days though.”

“Well, very nice to meet you, Mike,” Mandy said, turning towards Mike and winking at him. “Yngwie’s a regular, but it’s been quite some time since he brought anyone else here.”

“Oh, so it’s about me,” Yngwie teased. “So, when’s the last time _you_ were on a date?” 

_Wait, this is a date?!_ Mike suddenly thought.

“Let’s not change the subject,” Mandy said with a raised eyebrow. “Neither one of us is getting any, and we’ll leave it at that.”

Yngwie shrugged. “Fair enough.”

“All right. I’ll be back to check on you later.” Mandy turned and walked away. That skirt was really short, and Mike swore he could see a flash of white panties under those fishnets, which hugged her ass so nicely—

“Way to be inconspicuous, dude,” Yngwie said, immediately snapping Mike’s attention away from Mandy’s ass and back to the table. “Seriously, you need to learn to use your eyes, not turn your head.”

“Yeahhhh….” Mike shook his head sheepishly and looked down at the table. “It’s been a while.”

“I can tell.” Yngwie picked up one of the tequila shot glasses and ran his thumb around the bottom. “When’s the last time you got laid?”

“Well, when’s the last time _you_ got laid?” Mike said wryly before taking a long swig of his Sazerac. 

Yngwie downed the shot he was holding and recoiled. “Ugh…guess they didn’t have the top shelf anejo.” He put the glass back down. “This isn’t about me. I’m asking you.”

Mike picked up his glass and drank until the glass was halfway empty. He would need the booze to talk about this.

“Nuveena, Woman of the Future. Was about…uh…four years ago?”

“Shit,” Yngwie interjected. “And I thought I had it bad.”

“Why? What about you?”

“I went to a con last year. Bumped into the runner-up of the cosplay contest at the penthouse party on the top floor. Chatted over some drinks, we went to the pool, one thing led to another, and—“

“Here you go.” Mandy came back to the table with a bottle of Magic Hat Encore for Mike and a screwdriver for Yngwie, which she set down in front of them.

“Huh?” Mike asked, confused. “I didn’t order this.”

“They’re on me,” Mandy replied, leaning towards Mike so he got a good view of her cleavage. “I know you’re looking at me,” she said in a low voice, smiling devilishly.

Mike took another swig of his Sazerac for some courage. “And if I am?” he asked.

“Well, we just may have to do something about that later.” She stood up and turned to Yngwie. “Not a fan of the anejo, I take it?”

Yngwie was lingering on the shot of blanco, which he appeared to enjoy much more. He set the second glass down. “Not really.”

“Yeah, it’s hard to find a good one.” Mandy picked up the plates that once held chicken wings. “We won’t have any more wings ready for a few more minutes. Just sit tight.” She nodded at Yngwie before winking at Mike and walking away. Yngwie noticed the stupid grin on Mike’s face and chuckled.

Mike leaned over and lowered his voice. “So how is she?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Yngwie replied with a shrug.

“C’mon, man!” Mike said more loudly. “You know she likes you.”

“Not in that way. We’ve been friends for way too long. She’s 10 years younger than me anyways. It would feel too much like robbing the cradle.”

“Why, how old is she?”

“She’s 23.”

Mike’s eyes grew wide in shock. “No way. You’re not 33.”

“I sure as hell am,” Yngwie replied with one of his mischievous grins.

“You look damn good for 33. I could have sworn you were 25.”

“Why, thank you.”

“How on earth do you look that good?”

Yngwie downed the last of his three tequila samplers, and seemed lukewarm towards the viejo. “Well, I never gave it much thought. But I suppose if I had to come up with some sort of anti-aging secret…” Yngwie leaned back in his chair and titled his head upwards in thought. “I’d attribute it to alcohol and barebacking.”

Mike laughed. “How on earth do you put that much away anyway?”

“We have a higher tolerance for alcohol than Earthlings do,” Yngwie explained. “Though I’ll admit I overdid it the previous night.”

“You and me both.” Mike finished his Sazerac. “So, you’re not into younger women then?”

“I’m not into women, period.”

“Oh.” _Way to go, Mike. Open mouth; insert foot all the way up to kneecap._ “Sorry. I had no idea.”

“No big deal, “Yngwie said with a shrug. “It’s not like I go around advertising it.” He looked down at the laces on the side of his shirt. “Or maybe I do.” 

Their conversation came to an abrupt halt when they heard a woman screaming on the other side of the room. Both of them rapidly turned in their chairs to see one man behind Mandy pinning her arms behind her back, and a second drunkenly attempting to shove his hands down her shirt.

“Come on, baby,” said the man in front. “Don’t be so unfriendly.”

“LET ME GO!” Mandy growled, wresting her arms free. 

The man behind her grabbed her breasts and squeezed them hard enough for her to wince. “Weren’t you just telling your friend there you haven’t been getting any?”

“I SAID, _LET GO OF ME!!!_ ” Mandy elbowed the man behind her in the stomach and delivered a swift uppercut to the man in front, knocking him backwards. Yngwie and Mike immediately got up from their chairs and ran over. 

“She said no,” Mike said sternly. “Back off.” 

“Oh, says the guy she’s been hitting on,” the man in front shot back.

Yngwie crossed his arms over his chest. “I think you’d better let her go and never come back if you know what’s good for you.”

Mike took a few steps backwards. His mind violently vacillated between further interference and backing out of the situation entirely. Yngwie seemed to be able to handle this.

“Oh, sure, like you know what you’re talking about,” said the man in back. “Step away, _faggot._ ”

Yngwie immediately responded with a right hook that sounded like it broke something as the man crashed to the floor. The second man lunged forward and was met with a snap kick to the shin that doubled him over, and an elbow to the left shoulder that brought him down. The first man staggered to Yngwie, who kicked the man on the floor in the face as he tried to get up. Yngwie didn’t even notice the man behind him pull out his switchblade.

Before Mike even had time to think about what he was doing, he picked up a nearby wooden chair and swung it as hard as he could at the man with the switchblade, bringing it down squarely in the middle of the man’s head. The chair broke in half as the man crashed face first into the floor. The switchblade fell out of the man’s hand and slid across the floor. Mandy bent over and grabbed the switchblade, then lunged over and thrust the blade into the lower left side of the back of the man Yngwie had knocked onto the floor. The man shrieked in agony as blood oozed from the wound.

Mike recoiled in a mixture of shock and disgust, not at Mandy, but at the widening pool of blood. _“Jesus Christ!”_

“Eh, looks like the other guy’s out cold,” Mandy said as she removed the switchblade from the first man’s back and unceremoniously dropped it onto the floor. “What do you suppose I should do with him?”

“Um, something not involving blood, please?” Mike stammered. As much as he couldn’t blame Mandy, that was still a major shock that he wouldn’t be forgetting anytime soon. 

Mandy frowned. “Hmm. Guess I can lock him in the freezer until the manager gets back. He’ll be sure to deal with him.” She turned to Yngwie. “Can you help me get him over there?”

“Of course.” Yngwie bent over and threw the unconscious man over his shoulders, then followed Mandy to the kitchen. Suddenly feeling nauseated, Mike turned his back and ran outside as fast as he could.  
***  
“Hey.” Yngwie walked to the spot in the alley where Mike was curled up into a ball. “Are you okay?”

“Is Mandy okay?”

“She’s not hurt and she’s understandably pissed, but otherwise doing fine.”

“She’s not…upset?”

“You’d think she’d be, but she isn’t,” Yngwie replied. “I think it might be because we were both there.”

“Um…” Mike looked up at Yngwie. “We’re not going to be in trouble with the cops, are we?” The last thing he needed was to end up in a prison cell after a crash landing. 

“They’re not going to bother with us. They’ll have Mandy’s word and her manager’s that those men attacked her. If they need to interview anyone else, I can talk. We have our own sort of desert justice out here.” Yngwie extended his hand to Mike and pulled him up. “I’m sorry I got you involved.”

Mike shook his head. “Don’t be. You did what any decent person would do.”

“So did you.” Yngwie put an arm around Mike. “Thank you for saving me.”

Mike nodded and leaned towards Yngwie. At this point, the half-embrace was comforting, not awkward. “You’re welcome.”

“Come on, I’ll walk you back.”  
***  
As Yngwie and Mike reached the mangled hatch of the SOL, Mike suddenly remembered the stone in his pocket and Magic Voice’s request.

“Oh yeah! I forgot about it in the commotion, but Mag—uh, God asked me to give you something.”

“Really?” Yngwie asked, tilting his head to one side. “What is it?”

“She said it’s your reward for helping us.” Mike reached into his pocket and pulled out the stone, which he placed in Yngwie’s hand. “I don’t know what this is, but she said it’s very important to you.”

Yngwie opened his hand and beamed when he saw the stone. “This—this is exactly what I needed! I never thought I would find some! Now I can finish my spaceship! Thank you so much!”

Mike beamed as well upon seeing Yngwie’s reaction. “Well, it wasn’t really me. I’m just God’s messenger boy here.”

“Yeah, but you gave this to me.” Yngwie put the stone in his pocket. “And I let my guard down. If it weren’t for you, I could have ended up getting shanked. For both of those, I don’t know how I could possibly repay you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Mike said, shaking his head. “I’m just happy it all worked out well in the end.”

“I…” Yngwie thought for a moment. “I know it isn’t much, but there’s one way I can repay you.”

“What do you mean?”

Wordlessly, Yngwie pulled Mike close and pressed his lips against Mike’s. Mike immediately jumped in shock, but relaxed into the kiss and closed his eyes as Yngwie’s velvety tongue snaked over his. Mike wrapped his arms around Yngwie’s back and returned the kiss.

Mike’s reciprocal thrilled the other man, who pressed his lips harder against Mike’s as he continued exploring Mike’s mouth with his tongue. Mike pulled Yngwie closer and sucked on his tongue, eliciting a low moan from the other man. 

The two continued until they finally had to break the kiss, gasping for air. 

“Good night,” said Yngwie. “I’ll check on you tomorrow.”

Mike nodded weakly. “Good night,” he replied in a low voice that was almost a whisper.

Mike continued standing at the hatch and watched Yngwie disappear into the night. He gently placed his fingers against his lips. No one had ever kissed him like that, man or woman…

A few minutes later, Mike made his way up the hatch and headed to the bathroom for a shower, hoping the hot water would help him make some sense of the night’s events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I've owned tarot cards over the years and had a general idea about the Magician, but used this site for fact-checking: http://www.biddytarot.com/tarot-card-meanings/major-arcana/magician/
> 
> 2\. The Magician tattooed on Yngwie's right ankle is the second one down from the top on the far left hand side of the screen: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e7/73/2a/e7732a2bba964e3accc090e512601261.jpg
> 
> 3\. The "picnic table" story is real, and one of my cousin's friends is in the process of getting it redone.
> 
> 4\. I get that Klaxon alarm so many times during my own social interactions, and they aren't even romantic. 
> 
> 5\. Many thanks to my beta reader for pointing out that I accidentally typed "sword you were 25." This is why fanfic and Ambien don't mix. Also, he prefers Bleu cheese. Who knew?
> 
> 6\. Yes, Mandy stabbed the guy in the kidney.


	4. Chapter 4

Mike splashed more hot water against his face, trying again to quiet his brain. All the events of the day flashed inside his brain like a film reel running at full speed. When that didn’t work, he took a few deep breaths and picked up the soap.

The evening had been fun before it went to hell. Mike could see why Yngwie liked that place so much. The food was better than the half-assed crap he made himself, and the booze was obviously top-shelf. Well, most of it, anyway. Then there was Mandy. Obviously she and Yngwie had been friends for quite some time. She seemed like fun to hang out with. And if things had gone differently, it could have been his lucky night. 

Mike wondered how he didn’t realize before that Yngwie was gay, but then again, it wasn’t like he made a big deal out of it or let it define him as a person. Yngwie was like a geode: he looked completely ordinary and boring when you first met him, but if you actually bothered to take the time to chip away at the rock, inside was a myriad of shapes and colors you never would have expected to find. It was asymmetrical and disorganized, and yet, it was perfect. 

Once again, Mike’s thoughts turned to the feeling of Yngwie’s lips against his own, the heat of his mouth, and his arms pressing against his back. Mike exhaled slowly as he put down the soap. 

_God, what else can he do with that mouth?_

Mike jumped in astonishment at where his mind had wandered, and yet, it didn’t seem strange to him at this point. Instead, the thought was intriguing. He leaned back against the shower wall and crossed his arms across his chest, picturing them in another kiss. Mike’s left hand slowly trailed down his chest and stomach and down towards his rising cock, as he imagined Yngwie’s hand doing the same thing. 

The motions of Mike’s hand mirrored his fantasy of Yngwie slowly wrapping all of his fingers around his cock, with the varying textures of the silky-soft skin and the calluses eliciting contrasting sensations as they moved gradually up and down, almost agonizingly slowly, before the palm came down and grasped him a little harder, with the thumb and forefinger edging around the head for a few moments before sliding down to the base.

Yngwie would then move a little closer and run his tongue underneath Mike’s cock, but not quite reach the top. He’d pause and move his tongue up and down a small part of the underside for a little bit before resuming the previous movement and going all the way up, circling the head before gently flicking his tongue across the tip, quickly and lightly, just enough for Mike to be able to feel it. 

Mike pressed his back harder against the wall and let the water cascade down his shoulders and chest as he imagined Yngwie’s lips gently puckering around the head for a few moments before he took the head into his mouth and tightened his lips like a vice as he sucked on it, hard. He’d then relax the pressure and move slowly, ever so slowly, downwards, moving his fingers in small circles down the shaft as he took more of Mike’s cock into his mouth until he covered the entire length. He’d move back slightly faster, then forward again, picking up the pace a little, occasionally stopping to stroke the length a little harder this time.

Then he’d start right back up with his mouth, moving back and forth a little faster, gradually picking up speed, and occasionally ram down his head so his face was buried in Mike’s stomach before abruptly pulling all the way back. This would go on for a bit before he would then push forward, running his tongue across the length as it was still in his mouth. He would then remain far enough forward so that Mike could feel himself in the back of his throat, and he would stay there until finally—

As he felt himself begin to fall forward, Mike instantly pushed out his right arm and pressed his hand against the side of the shower for support, involuntarily leaning over as he came. He panted for a little bit as the dizzying patterns dancing on the ground returned to looking like a normal shower. 

He suddenly realized: he had just jerked off to the thought of another guy going down on him. And he _liked_ it. 

Mike screamed as a sudden blast of cold water shattered his reverie. He had been in the shower for way too long. He scrambled to turn off the water and threw open the shower door before jumping out and drying off as quickly as he could.   
***  
“Look! It’s moving!” Crow yelled as Mike lurched out of his room, still trying to wake up. “It’s alive…it’s alive!”

“It’s alive, it’s moving!” Tom chimed in. “It’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, it’s alive, IT’S ALIVE!”

“Look, I know I slept in late,” Mike muttered. “You don’t need to remind me.” He began searching for his coffee mug.

“So, what were you up to last night?” Crow asked. “Us, well, we—“

Gypsy rushed over to the group. “Mike? There’s someone here to see you.” She gestured to the open door behind her. Mandy walked into the room.

“Mandy!” Mike’s surprise eliminated his earlier need for coffee. “What are you doing here?”

“I guess that answers my question,” Crow quipped.

“Yngwie sent me here to check on you,” Mandy replied. “He was really worried about you.” 

“Do you mind if we talk elsewhere?” Leading her to his room seemed extremely inappropriate, all things considered, but it was the only place they would have any privacy.

“Sure, I don’t mind.” Mandy began to follow Mike, and so did the ‘bots.

“Guys, I need to talk to her,” Mike stated. “Alone.”

Crow chuckled. “Oh, I see how it is…”

“Shut the fuck up,” Mike snarled through gritted teeth. The ‘bots stood in stunned silence as he and Mandy walked away. Mike never reacted this way to a bit of teasing. Just what had happened the previous night?  
***  
“Sorry about that,” Mike said as he closed the door. “This is the only place where they won’t be eavesdropping.”

“Robotic adolescents,” Mandy remarked. “Good to know.”

“Yeah, I don’t really need to have kids. I have four already.” Mandy had already made herself comfortable on the bed, so Mike sat down next to her. “Why did Yngwie send you here? Couldn’t he come himself?”

“The shop’s closed today, and he didn’t want to waste any time getting the adamantine in to finish the spaceship. But he was also really worried about you. I haven’t seen him like that in a long time.”

“Adamantine?” Mike repeated, before realizing what she meant. “Oh, that stone. Right.”

“Exactly. I would share, but I just had to have the transmission replaced on my spaceship so it’s going to take more power.”

“You have a spaceship?” Mike asked with interest.

“Yeah, but I didn’t build it from scratch like he is. I inherited it from my uncle. The thing with those is, you need to get the adamantine in quickly so it can start picking up coordinates. Planets, other spaceships, larger spacecraft like the one we’re on…that sort of thing. It’s like populating a GPS. You need to leave it in one place long enough to populate everything around it. Otherwise, you’re out in deep space with no radar. Sure, you can try tearing around right after getting your spaceship up and running…if you don’t mind a high possibility of a collision that will kill you.”

“You said it could pick up ships like this one?”

“Yeah. Mine’s been up and running for quite some time now, so it’s picking up everything around it on this planet. That means I have your coordinates, so I could find you wherever you are once you leave this planet. Meaning, I can visit you anytime. Though that would only be when I can get an extended leave from work.”

“Oh, cool! Yeah, I definitely need to hang out with more people.”

“You sound like you’d be a lot of fun to hang out with,” Mandy said, smiling. “Yngwie can’t stop talking about you.” 

“…Really?”

“Well, once he was done gushing about finally getting his hands on some adamantine, sure.”

“Um…what did he say?” Mike hoped Yngwie wasn’t the type to kiss and tell.

“How you were from Earth and had your robot friends; and that God was aboard this ship.”

Mike bit his lip and told himself to play along. “Yeah, I’m not sure how that happened. But this ship was running before I was here, so maybe the previous occupant knows how she decided to grace us with her presence.”

“He also said how much fun you are to hang out with and that you’re a great listener. Not many people bother to try and get to know him, you know.” 

“What do you mean?” Mike asked, actually asking about both of her previous statements.

“Just like me, most of the people he meets every day are just customers that are there for some sort of transaction. They get right back to their lives right after the deal’s done and you never see them again.” Mandy held her knees up to her chest and rocked back and forth. “That’s the problem with everyone here. They’re all way too comfortable in their lives and routines. Nobody ever wants to try doing anything or talking to anyone that’s different from what they already know.”

Mike frowned. “That sounds boring as all hell.”

“It is. So when someone like you comes along…of course it’s different.”

“Hmm.” The conversation was beginning to veer into uncharted and uncomfortable territory, so Mike changed the subject. “About those spaceships…can they pick up coordinates anywhere in space?”

“Only after a 72-hour period,” Mandy replied. “Prior to that, they can only pick up coordinates immediately around them. Meaning, when you initially put in the adamantine and get everything up and running, it’ll only pick up coordinates of things on the planet you’re on. If you’re already in space, it’ll only pick up coordinates of things in space, and not on the planets themselves. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, it makes perfect sense.”

“Okay. But anyway…” Mandy put her legs back on the floor and turned her head to look at Mike. “I wanted to apologize.”

“What for?” Mike asked, confused.

“I was coming on to you way too strong last night, and we had only just met.”

Mike was taken aback. “What the hell do you have to apologize for?! What guy in his right mind wouldn’t love that?” He noticed the confused look on Mandy’s face. “I mean, you’re hot, and—“

_Oh, fuck. I just had to say that out loud, didn’t I?_

Mandy laughed. “Well, maybe you’re the wrong person to apologize to. I think I might have made Yngwie jealous.”

Mike felt a sudden rush of nerves. “Why, did he say anything?”

“No, and maybe he wasn’t. But…I can just tell, you know?”

“Tell…what?”

Mandy looked Mike straight in the eye. “When you know somebody long enough, you know when they’re interested in someone.” She smiled almost knowingly. “But you don’t always have to know the person really well to pick up on their signals. I could read you like a book.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Come on, don’t play dumb. You’re totally into each other.”

_“WHAT?!”_ Mike immediately felt his temperature rise a few degrees, and wondered if Mandy could see him blushing.

“Call it woman’s intuition.” Mandy grinned and crossed her legs. “You should totally get together. I bet you two would be like dynamite.”

“I, um, well—“ Mike paused as a thought occurred to him. “Wait a minute. First you were coming on to me, and now you’re saying I should hook up with him? Why?”

Mandy shrugged. “What can I say? I don’t mind sharing with people I like and trust.”

So he still had a chance with her after all. “Okay, fine. But…I’m straight. I’ve never been interested in guys.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Mike initially planned to object, but then thought of the previous night in the shower and decided to keep his mouth shut. “It’s just—I’ve never thought of going out with another guy or anything, you know?”

“That’s happened to a lot of people I know,” Mandy stated. “They think they’re sure of themselves and know what they want, but then something comes along that shows them that maybe they didn’t know themselves as well as they thought. It can take years. I’ve known people who didn’t realize they weren’t straight until they’d been married for decades. All it takes is meeting the right person.”

Mike wordlessly stared at the floor.

“Just think about it.” Mandy pulled out her phone and checked the time. “I have to go. I don’t want to be late for work.”

Mike nodded. “Okay, I’ll show you back out. Did you have trouble coming in?”

“None at all,” Mandy replied as she followed Mike out of his room. They headed back to the bridge. “I can climb pretty well.” 

“I swear everyone here has super strength. I’ll see you—oh, wait.” Mike stopped Mandy before she was about to leave as he thought of something else. “Did Yngwie get that spaceship up and running?”

“If he hasn’t already, he should be done this afternoon.”

“And you said it takes 72 hours to pick up everything.”

“Yeah. Until then, it can only pick up things already on this planet.”

“Okay, I was just curious. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay, bye!” Mandy gave Mike a hug before leaving through the door she came in, and he could hear her jumping back and forth like a ninja down the shaft leading outside. Both she and Yngwie had far more guts than he ever would.

“What was that all about?” Magic Voice asked.

“We all ended up in a bar fight last night and she and Yngwie wanted to make sure I was OK,” Mike said. She didn’t need to know _all_ of the facts. “Hey, by the way, I wanted to ask you something. You know how she and Yngwie think you’re God?”

“I am the Lord thy God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage,” Magic Voice replied. “You shall have no other gods before Me.”

Mike shook his head. “You are having way too much fun with this.”

“Hee hee.”

“I suppose I could call you God around them, but you’re a girl. It doesn’t seem right. ‘Goddess’ just sounds weird. Is there anything you’d prefer?”

“Like what?”

“Like…I dunno…Ishtar? Athena? Venus?”

“Hmm…” Magic Voice thought for a moment. “Call me Lilith.”

Mike rolled his eyes. “Of course you pick the crazy, vengeful lamia.”

“Huh? You don’t know djinns from dryads. How do you know what a lamia is?”

“Because they’ve killed so many of my Dungeons and Dragons characters that I gave up counting.” Mike paused. “By the way…how long before the SOL is at full power?” 

“Gypsy’s been checking all day. Last she told me, we’ll be up and running in 36 hours. If we stick around here any longer, there’s a really good chance of Pearl and her minions picking up our coordinates and finding us.”

Mike frowned. _36 hours._

“Why do you ask?”

“…I’ve just been thinking about something.” With that, he headed back to his room.

Cambot, who had been within earshot on the other side of the bridge the whole time, cocked his head to one side, with the first stirrings of worry buried behind his lens.  
***  
Mike lay on his back with his hands behind his head, staring blankly at the ceiling as he remembered his earlier conversation with Mandy. From what she had told him, there was always a chance that a spaceship could pick up another set of coordinates if both parties were in the same vicinity for 72 hours. Sure, there was always a chance that two spaceships could find one another if they were close enough. But once the SOL was back up and running, they could be light years away from this region, and they would have so much of a head start that the chances of a spaceship catching up after the fact were beyond miniscule. 

Mike heard something in his right pocket rustle as he turned on the bed. He reached into the pocket and felt a slip of paper that he didn’t remember putting there. It must have been Mandy. He pulled the paper out of his pocket, unfolded it, and grinned when he saw the note containing Mandy’s Skype ID and the request _“Call me sometime?”_

This was a first. A girl had actually willingly given him her number. Still grinning, Mike got up and lifted up the mattress, where he hid the slip of paper. The last thing either of them needed was for the ‘bots to start calling her. Her refrigerator was likely in working order and he was pretty sure they didn’t make Prince Albert in cans anymore. For that matter, did they even make it at all?

Mandy probably would come around, just as she said. If she was willing to put up with him, she probably wouldn’t mind the ‘bots. Maybe Yngwie would tag along with her.

…No, probably not. He had his own now. Why would he?

Mike sighed and shook his head. Here was a girl who was not only into him, and had no baggage as far as he knew, but was also unattached and not completely insane or a drama queen. And yet, he couldn’t stop thinking about the man who had helped repair the SOL, who was a drinking buddy of sorts, and who had kissed him the previous night.

_What’s happening to me?_

As he pondered that thought, Mike once again remembered those lips, that mouth and that tongue intertwining with his own. He couldn’t quite remember: had Yngwie kept his hands in one place, or had they been moving up and down his back? If they had been, he couldn’t say that he would mind. Nor would he mind those hands making their way underneath his clothes. 

Mandy was right. He was attracted to another man. He didn’t know why, he didn’t know how, he didn’t know what was happening—but somehow she had picked up on it before he did. She also didn’t seem to mind that he was much less than discreet about what he had been thinking about at the bar.

_Wait a minute,_ Mike thought to himself. _So, if I’m attracted to Mandy…and Yngwie…that means, I’m—_

**“EEYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!”**

Mike sprang up as Gypsy’s screaming rattled Mike out of his daydreaming. He got up and opened the door before stepping outside, with the floor squishing as he stepped out of his room.

Why was the floor squishing?

Mike looked down to discover the entire floor was covered in thick foam. Gypsy flung herself from side to side, screaming at the top of her technically nonexistent lungs as she attempted to shake off the foam covering her eye. Apparently this had been some sort of art project, since different colors of foam were sprayed all over the walls in what might have resembled a painting if one repeatedly banged a slab of metal against their head and stared at it upside down while covering one eye. 

“Tag! You’re it!”

Before Mike could react, a tsunami of white foam spewed forth from behind. Mike turned to see Crow running towards the bridge with a fire extinguisher.

Mike clenched his fists and grunted in exasperation. “The fire extinguishers are for fire emergencies _only!_ ” 

Mike attempted to wipe the foam off himself as the ‘bots laughed in the distance, but he only managed to make it worse. All of this was going to take hours to clean up.


	5. Chapter 5

Yngwie frowned. Neither the lines nor the shading were coming out properly at all. He picked up the eraser from the nightstand and rubbed it over most of the area of the paper he had been working on, half-listening to “Ain’t Talking ‘Bout Love” on the MP3 player sitting next to his graphite pencils. 

“Hey.”

Yngwie’s focus jerked back to his surroundings as Mike came in and closed the door behind him.

“What are you doing here?” Yngwie asked, confused. “I thought I sent Mandy to check on you.”

“She did. Everything’s fine. What are you drawing now?”

Yngwie clutched the sketchbook against his chest. “It’s not ready yet.” 

A perplexed expression crossed Mike’s face.

“You can see it when it’s done.” Yngwie opened the bottom nightstand drawer and placed the sketchbook face down inside before reclosing the drawer. 

“What the hell?” Mike asked, confused. “That’s not like you at all.”

“Yeah, well…” Yngwie pushed himself off of the bed and stood up. “Right now, it really looks like crap, is all. What’s up?”

“I came to see you,” Mike replied before mentally kicking himself. _Of course you came to see him, dumbass. Why else would you be here?_ “Last night was a lot of fun, before, well…um, anyway, I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”

“I’m fine.” Yngwie took a few cautious steps towards Mike before pausing mid-walk. “Why?”

“Because…” Mike took a few deep breaths, trying to slow down the heart pounding against his chest. “I don’t know, I just—I just keep thinking about being out with you, and then, we went back to my place, and we…” Mike gasped raggedly, mentally screaming at himself to spit it out. “I really enjoyed that. No one’s ever kissed me like that before, and I…I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Yngwie resumed his walk to the other side of the room. “You’ve been first and foremost on my mind the past couple of days.”

“Mine, too.” Every single one of Mike’s synapses was alive and firing on all cylinders.

“God, it hasn’t been like this since…” Yngwie stopped mid-sentence and pulled Mike towards him in a rough kiss. Mike clutched Yngwie as he returned the kiss with equal force, digging his nails into the other man’s back and shoulders. Yngwie pushed Mike backwards as he thrust his tongue into the other man’s mouth and slammed Mike against the wall behind him, thrilling at the quiet moan in response. They continued kissing and groping one another for a little while until Yngwie broke the kiss and started biting and licking Mike’s neck. Through the thick haze of desire, Mike could hear the beginning phrases of “Stranglehold” playing in the background as Yngwie began undoing his jumpsuit.

Mike closed his eyes and surrendered as the jumpsuit unceremoniously fell to the floor. His consciousness flailed between the sensations of the lips and tongue working on his neck and the fingers teasing the skin at the waistband of his boxer briefs, stopping before the entire hand pushed them down. Yngwie moved his head away from Mike’s neck and looked up at him as he ran the simultaneously soft and calloused fingers up, down, and in circles around the base of Mike’s cock. Those deep blue eyes stared at him with a burning intensity he had never seen, and continued to look at right at him as Yngwie got down on his knees and paused, Mike’s cock in hand, staring Mike directly in the eyes.

“God, yes,” Mike rasped as Yngwie just knelt there, seemingly awaiting further encouragement. “Please.”

Whimpering, Mike pushed himself back against the wall in an almost futile attempt to keep his balance, partially moving towards the tongue that was moving up and down his shaft, encircling the head, and fluttering over the tip longer than he felt that he could handle while Yngwie’s hand firmly clutched his cock.

Mike tried to shift his focus to the music in the background, since he wouldn’t last much longer if he didn’t attempt to hold out. Not with that mouth moving up and down his cock, with the lips pushing down slightly after the mouth pulled back, gently releasing the pressure as the mouth and tongue would once again thrust forward.

…Maybe that hadn’t been such a good idea after all. The lyrics now mirrored exactly what was going through Mike’s head as Yngwie suddenly shoved his head forward.

_Come on, come on up…come on, come on up…_

Yngwie pushed his face into Mike’s stomach, then immediately pulled back. He quickly took a deep breath before going back down, hard and fast, forcefully contracting his mouth around the entire length.

_Come on, come on, come on, come on, baby, come on, come on, come on, come on up…_

Mike cried out and arched his back as he felt himself at the back of Yngwie’s throat. His head violently jerked back and banged against the wall.

_Come on, come on, come on, come on, baby, come on, come on, come onnnnn…_

Grunting, Mike grabbed a fistful of Yngwie’s hair and pushed his head down. “Oh God, oh God, I can’t take it any— _unnnnnhhhhh._ ” Mike shuddered, involuntarily thrashing his head back and banging it against the wall again, clutching the hair in his hand as he came down the back of Yngwie’s throat. 

Mike felt himself slide down the wall a little bit as his legs started shaking and placed a hand against the wall for balance before he let go of the hair in his hand. Yngwie pulled back and looked up at Mike with those piercing blue eyes again as he wiped his mouth with the back of his forearm. Panting, Mike blankly stared down at Yngwie, who was still down on the floor looking up at him while undoing his pants. In the background, the phone on Yngwie’s table vibrated before chiming to indicate a missed call. 

“Look at what you do to me.” Yngwie slid his fully hard cock out of his pants and ran his fingers down it. As Mike watched Yngwie in anticipation of what he would do next, the phone vibrated and chimed three more times.

“Goddammit. I should have turned that off.” Yngwie pushed himself up and clambered over to the phone with the intention of powering it down. He sighed in exasperation when he saw Mandy’s photo on the screen and that the previous four missed calls had all been from her.

Yngwie swiped the screen to the right and held the phone up to his ear. “What? Someone had better be fucking dead.” There was a brief pause. “Calm down. I can’t understand you when you’re talking that fast. … Okay. But now’s not a—really?” Yngwie’s expression softened. “Damn. No wonder you’re freaking out. …Okay. I’ll be right over. Give me about 20 minutes.” Yngwie hung up the phone and sighed again.

“What’s wrong? What did she want?” Mike asked as he began putting his clothes back on. 

“The refrigeration at the bar failed,” Yngwie replied. “The health inspector’s coming tomorrow. She’s already running short this month, and if they’re closed for any length of time, she won’t be able to make the rent.” 

“Damn,” Mike interjected. “Nobody’s dead, but that’s close enough,”

“No kidding,” Yngwie replied. He was now attempting the Sisyphean task of cramming a boner into a pair of tight leather pants. “I really, _really_ don’t want to leave or kick you out after that, but…”

“No, I get it. I don’t want her getting kicked out of her place either.” By this point, Yngwie had managed to get his pants back on, and Mike winced at the thought of how uncomfortable that had to be. More than that, though, he couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened without the interruption. The thoughts were still running through his mind as he stepped outside and began heading back to the SOL. 

A couple of minutes later, Yngwie came running past without noticing he was there. He had been in such a rush to get his things together he hadn’t even turned off his MP3 player. Mike could faintly make out the strains of “Whole Lotta Love” in the distance, and he couldn’t help but laugh.

Mandy’s Skype ID remained forgotten under the bed mattress.  
***  
“Uh, Mike?” Gypsy asked as Mike crept back to the bridge. “Why is there a bump on your head?”

“I…guess I got hurt during the crash after all,” he quickly lied.

“Your jumpsuit’s not buttoned right.” 

Mike looked down and realized there were spots where one or two holes were missing any buttons. “…Oh. I guess this explains why my clothes were coming off earlier.” 

Crow rushed out onto the bridge with a plumbing snake in one hand and a life ring in the other. “Don’t worry! Everything is under control!”

Mike blinked. “…What’s that supposed to mean?”

“No really, everything is under control. We had a little emergency with Tom, is all. I’m almost done and I’ll have everything cleaned up, I swear. But I must ask that whatever you do, until I give the all-clear, _PLEASE DON’T FLUSH THE TOILET._ ”

Mike facepalmed as Crow ran towards the back of the SOL. 

“Hang on, Tom! I’m coming!” Crow then rushed back to the bridge. “Oh, yeah. Mike, you wouldn’t happen to have any rope, would you?”  
***  
Crow actually did have the situation under control, but after all was said and done, the ‘bots still required an explanation that anything that had gone into the septic tank was gone for good. Also, Mike would really miss those Marvel figurines.

Now Mike and the ‘bots were crowded into the bridge for dinner, with something that they hadn’t had for several months: Midwestern pork tenderloin sandwiches. Of course, these being real Midwestern pork tenderloin sandwiches, Tom had wondered aloud whether or not they were actually bigger than him.

“We haven’t had these in awhile,” Gypsy said between bites of her sandwich. “What made you think of these?”

“Nothing in particular,” Mike replied as he reached for the ketchup. “I just thought of them all of a sudden.” Mike felt a tap on his leg as he opened the ketchup bottle and saw Cambot, who began gesturing slowly.

“Huh?” Mike asked, confused. “What do you mean, ‘was I adopted’?” 

Crow, who up until now had been munching away happily at his sandwich, suddenly began bobbing his head up and down like a water bird. “Why do I feel so tired all of a sudden?” 

Tom also began to list forward. “M—me too…”

Both of them tried to continue eating, but ultimately failed and fell forward. Tom fell right into his sandwich. They remained on the ground, snoring loudly, and Mike casually finished his sandwich as Gypsy and Cambot stared at the sleeping pair, confused.

“Uh, Mike?” Gypsy inquired. “What’s in these sandwiches?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Mike said as he began cleaning up. “They’re just taking a nap. They’ll wake up in a few hours.”

Gypsy repeated the question. “Again, what did you put in these?”

“Benadryl. I’m going to be out for a while tonight and just once, I would like everything to be in the same shape it was in when I left once I’m back. Can you two keep an eye on things for me?”

“Um…OK…but…what—OW!“ Gypsy stopped when Cambot jabbed his lens into the side of her head.

“There’s something really important I need to do before we leave.” With that, Mike left the bridge. Cambot and Gypsy looked at one another and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of background: When I was originally sorting out the ideas for this fic in my head, I was having vodka and listening to one of my drinking playlists. On comes one of my favorite songs, "Stranglehold." While I didn't have all the details and play-by-play (for lack of a better term) worked out, the mental image in my head once the solo starts coming to an end seared itself into my consciousness, and I resolved that I HAD to write that. This was basically the centerpiece for everything I wrote up until this point.
> 
> Another reason the song works is the long, trance-like guitar solo. A trance-like state certainly applies to what's going on here.
> 
> Also, I laughed so hard when I came up with the sentence "He was now attempting the Sisyphean task of cramming a boner into a pair of tight leather pants" that I had to include it.


	6. Chapter 6

Night had already fallen as Mike made his way back into town. With every step, he was simultaneously asking himself what the hell he was doing and telling himself to keep going. Eventually, the latter won out in his mind, as he realized that once the SOL was back up and running, they may not be back this way ever again. If he didn’t do this now, he would regret it for the rest of his life. 

Two days ago, Yngwie had barely been a passing thought in his mind. But since then, Mike found himself thinking about doing absolutely unspeakable things to him, and having them done in return. He could either face those fantasies head on and risk one of the most humiliating experiences of his life, or head off into time and space wondering what could have been. Between the lesser of two possible evils, the choice was obvious, even though he still found himself questioning it. 

Mike couldn’t remember how long it had been since he had thought of anyone in this way, let alone a man. For that matter, he wasn’t even sure if he _had_ thought of anyone so intensely.

Whatever the case, after much thought, he finally realized exactly what it was flowing through his veins.

Desire. 

Yngwie was back inside the store emptying out the cash register. He was now barefoot and had changed into a white sleeveless top, though he still had the same pants on.

“Mike?” The look on Yngwie’s face was a cross between tempered intensity and surprise. “I wasn’t expecting to see you again until tomorrow.” 

“Everything’s under control back on the SOL. Can we talk?”

“Yeah, but I need to finish locking up. Can you wait for a few minutes?”

Mike nodded and headed into the back. He left the door open a crack and sat down on the bed, ignoring the voice inside his head telling him what a terrible idea that was. Mike first stared down at the floor, then at his clasped hands, and then at the door before turning his attention to the wall. His pulse quickened as he remembered being slammed against the wall and letting Yngwie take control. If only Mandy hadn’t called…

Yngwie came in and closed the door behind him before setting his keys down on the kitchen table. He then walked over to the bed and sat down next to Mike. “You wanted to talk to me?”

Mike nodded and squeezed his hands together before looking Yngwie straight in the eyes. _Come on. You can do this._

“Like I said earlier, I can’t stop thinking about you.” Mike paused and bit his lip. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. I never thought about doing these things with another man, but that was absolutely incredible, and I had dreamed about it, and—“ Mike took a deep breath and resolved to cut to the chase. “I want to return the favor. I don’t know why, I don’t know how, I don’t know what’s going on, but…goddammit, Yngwie, I want you.”

Desire flushed over Yngwie’s face as he gazed at Mike intently. “God, you have no idea how much I’ve been wanting to hear you say that.”

Mike felt his core temperature rise. “For how long?”

“Since I kissed you the other night.” Yngwie pulled Mike closer to him. “You’re sure?”

Mike nodded. “Yes. Absolutely.”

Without another word, Yngwie wrapped his arms around Mike and kissed him, gently at first, then harder as he slowly pushed Mike down onto the bed before shifting his weight and lying down on top of him. Mike moaned in response, enthralled at the feeling of the weight on top, the tongue thrusting into his mouth, the hands groping him and pulling his hair—the sensation of being taken. 

Between rough kisses, they began pulling at one another’s clothes, with Yngwie making short work of the buttons on Mike’s jumpsuit as he covered the nape of Mike’s neck with light kisses and bites. Mike slipped his hands under Yngwie’s shirt and traced a path around the other man’s waist before placing his hands on Yngwie’s sides and pushing the material up. Mike stopped when he felt something bump against the bottom of his right hand and paused. Noticing Mike’s response, Yngwie sat up and finished removing the shirt. He looked down at Mike and smiled at the reaction to his nipple ring.

“Well now, what’s this?” Mike teased, idly batting the ring with two fingers. “Just when I think I have you figured out, you always surprise me.” He ran a fingertip up to the base and inadvertently pushed the metal to the side, causing the other man to gasp.

The burning intensity from earlier returned to those blue eyes, which seemed to shine with a new light. “Do that again.”

It was Mike’s turn to grin mischievously. “Sensitive, are we?” He slid the metal back and forth, relishing the whimpers in response. “Let’s see…What happens if I do this?” With that, he placed his hands on the other man’s shoulders, pushing him to the side, then shifting his weight and rolling over so he was on top instead. He returned his hand to the nipple ring and leaned down over the unpierced right nipple, darting his tongue across it before gently biting down.

“God, yes!” Yngwie cried out as his entire body shuddered under Mike, who idly played with the ring with his forefinger while sucking and occasionally biting the other nipple, savoring the crescendo of gasps and whimpers in response. If there had been any remaining apprehension from earlier, it transcended into exhilaration and heightened arousal in return. If any woman had ever reacted like this to him before, Mike sure as hell couldn’t remember. 

Yngwie grabbed Mike’s shoulders and scratched his way down Mike’s back before pushing down the remainder of the clothing around Mike’s waist. Since Mike was having trouble with Yngwie’s pants anyway, he rolled off the other man and removed everything, pushing it into a pile on the floor. Meanwhile, Yngwie had taken the opportunity to undo his pants and push them down his hips before throwing his legs in the air and pushing the material around his ankles, then pulling it off and throwing it across the room.

“Well.” Mike remarked at the display. “You’re flexible.”

Yngwie laughed quietly and crawled over to Mike on all fours, grabbing a fistful of his hair and pulling his head down for another rough kiss while using the other hand to run his hand up Mike’s thigh. The dual sensations of the calluses on Yngwie’s hand and the soft fingers making their way towards his now throbbing cock electrified Mike, who felt himself beginning to lose his balance from being too close to the side of the bed. Compensating for the sudden weight shift, Mike put his hands on the other man’s chest and pushed him back down as he climbed on top and began imitating how he had nearly been driven mad twice before by biting and sucking the nape of Yngwie’s neck.

Yngwie clutched the small of Mike’s back, digging his nails into the skin. “God, you’re so fucking sexy.”

Another mischievous smile crossed Mike’s lips. “So…what do you want me to do to you?” Mike then frowned in contemplation as he realized there was a very big hole in his statement: other than a few general ideas he had considered, he really had no idea how sex between men worked. “No, really. What _do_ you want me to do to you?”

Yngwie smiled and laughed softly; reminding himself that he was basically bedding a virgin. “Well…” He mulled over the possibilities in his mind. “I could fuck you, you could fuck me, I could go down on you again, or you could go down on me, we could jerk each other off…” He moved up to kiss Mike’s neck. “Or any combination of the above…depending on how long we both last.” 

Mike thought for a moment. “Well, sorry, but I don’t think I’m comfortable being on the bottom.”

Yngwie nodded. “That’s fine. Completely understandable.”

“Going down on you sounds like a maybe, but no way could I do it like you.”

“Admittedly, it’s an acquired skill. That doesn’t mean I can’t teach you.”

“Maybe later,” Mike stated. “But, on the other hand…” Never in a million years did Mike ever think he would say or even consider what he was about to tell Yngwie, but it had been on his mind for the better part of the day. “Fucking you sounds like a wonderful idea.”

“Mmm…I agree,” Yngwie purred; clawing his way up Mike’s back. “Not yet, though. I have plans for you.” Similar to what Mike had done earlier, he shifted his weight and pushed so that they were both lying on one side, facing one another. “I love how hard you get when I stroke you.” He firmly grasped Mike’s cock and moved his hand ever so slightly, smiling when he felt Mike jump. “Just like that. You’re getting harder thinking about touching me, aren’t you?”

Wordlessly, Mike moved his left hand down and gripped Yngwie’s cock with equal force, gazing intently at the look on his face as he moved his hand in what had become much too familiar of a reflex over the past few years. He continued to watch the other man react to his touch, all while listening to the ragged breaths in between profanities and groans of encouragement. At this point, Mike wasn’t sure which one of them would come first. When he felt himself starting to get close, Yngwie pulled his hand back, much to Mike’s frustration.

“Slow down,” Yngwie said as he moved Mike’s hand away from his groin and placed it back on the bed. “Not yet. I’m not done with you.” With that, he pushed Mike onto his back before climbing on top of Mike and moving down between his legs in one quicksilver motion. Mike took a deep breath as Yngwie looked into his eyes while brushing his tongue over the tip of his cock.

“Look me right in the eyes,” Yngwie instructed before running his tongue all the way up the undershaft, triggering a slow moan. “If you look away, I stop.”

Mike nodded weakly and propped himself up on his elbows, staring deep into the shimmering blue eyes as he watched the other man slowly move his lips up and down the side of his cock, briefly stopping to stroke him before wrapping his hand around the length and taking the head into his mouth. Mike schooled himself to keep his arms down and head forward as Yngwie quickly bobbed up and down over the head, for fear that if he moved, the exquisite torture would end.

Soon, that magic mouth was moving up and down Mike’s cock, covering it with an obscene amount of spit as those blue eyes stared directly into his. Stuttered breaths occasionally became gasps and moans whenever Yngwie found a particularly sensitive area with his tongue. The pattern continued, with Yngwie moving hard and fast, driving Mike dangerously close to the precipice before quickly pulling away and propping himself up on his left forearm while clenching his right hand around Mike’s shaft.

The mischievous grin returned as Yngwie licked the combination of excess spit and precome off his lips, jerking his hand hard, yet agonizingly slowly. 

“You know, Mandy’s asked me for advice,” Yngwie began as he kept his other fingers in place but rubbed his thumb gently over Mike’s slit. “She can’t work your cock like I can.”

Mike felt his arms beginning to give out underneath him and shifted his weight forward, instructing himself to keep his gaze forward despite the fact he felt himself beginning to shake.

Yngwie quickly flicked his tongue across one of the sensitive areas near the head he had discovered earlier, eliciting a delirious moan from Mike. “Can’t milk you like I can…”

Mike grabbed two fistfuls of Yngwie’s hair and pulled his head forward. “God fucking _dammit,_ Yngwie, just do it already…”

“And here I was just getting to the good part.” Yngwie released Mike and moved back up the bed. Mike pushed himself up into a seated position to see what the other man was doing. By this point, Yngwie had pulled a small bottle of lube out of the top nightstand drawer.

“Um…” Mike began.

“Let me.” Yngwie poured some of the lube over his fingers and rubbed them against his thumb to warm it up before slipping it inside himself, languidly moving it about before adding a second finger.

Mike watched Yngwie prepare himself with fascinated curiosity, as well as a sense of relief that Yngwie was handling this himself. No way in hell would he have figured this out on his own, much less remember it for future reference. 

_Future reference._ They hadn’t even finished yet, and already, he was thinking about doing this again at some point. 

Yngwie removed his fingers and tossed the bottle over to Mike with his other hand. Mike applied a copious amount of lube to himself before closing the bottle and discarding it in the pile of clothes on the floor. At least this part he could figure out. 

“Come here.” Yngwie was now on his back with his legs spread.

Mike smirked as he crawled over to the other man. “Aren’t I supposed to have you flipped over?”

Yngwie smiled and laughed softly. “I suppose…but this is your first time, so this’ll be a lot easier for you. Besides…” The glimmer of desire returned to those blue eyes. “I want to watch you.” 

Mike figured he was probably putting way too much thought into it as he moved between Yngwie’s legs and positioned himself. Then again, this would probably be the same if a woman had wanted to do this on her back, too…

“I can’t wait to feel you inside me.”

That was all the encouragement Mike needed to allow himself to shift his weight downward and begin pushing in. He steadied himself before feeling Yngwie relax around him; then pushed the rest of the way, triggering a sharp intake of breath from the other man.

Well. That had been easier than he thought. 

All in all, it really wasn’t that different from being inside a woman, other than the obvious physiological differences. And male or female, it was supposed to be tighter this way. Even so, Mike hadn’t expected it to be quite like _this._

Yngwie pushed himself forward a little before looking up at Mike. “You okay?”

Mike nodded weakly. “God, you feel so good.”

Mike took Yngwie’s smile in response as permission to place his hands on either side of Yngwie for support as he began moving slowly in and out, but hesitated when he felt himself shake again. At this rate, it would be over immediately. 

“Look, you’re not gonna break me. I’m not glass.”

“It’s not you I’m worried about, it’s me,” Mike admitted.

“Deep breaths,” Yngwie advised. “Take it easy.” 

Mike nodded and stared directly into the other man’s eyes as he took several deep breaths, gradually feeling the shakiness throughout him subside. When he felt secure that he wouldn’t explode anytime in the immediate future, he began moving again, thrilling at the nails clawing at his back, the low grunting, and the string of profanities from the man underneath him. As he began to thrust faster, Mike swore he could see what remained of the mental and emotional barriers Yngwie previously had established in their initial meeting crumble away. The branding from those nails on his back was painful, yet exhilarating.

“ _Fuck_ yeah,” Yngwie gasped as he moved a hand down to stroke himself. “I love the way you fill me up.”

Astonishingly, that statement did not push Mike over the edge, but it damn near came close. With sheer abandon, Mike moved as fast and hard as he possibly could, feeding off the screaming, profanity and grinding against his cock in return when Yngwie began getting really close to the edge. Mike felt his body begin to shake again, much stronger this time, and pushed his way through the quaking, knowing that this one would be huge. 

“You like that?” Yngwie growled. “You’re gonna make me come. You like fucking the come right out of me? Don’t stop, don’t fucking stop! Come on, cream inside me!”

It was unclear whether it was from the sudden series of powerful thrusts from Mike in response to the encouragement, or from the hand roughly and rapidly stroking himself, but Mike still felt vindicated when Yngwie came first, shuddering and screaming beneath him, with the white-hot cream spilling onto his stomach. Upon seeing that, Mike gave himself permission to move as fast and hard as he could until he was no longer capable of further movement, and exploded inside of the man beneath him.

Mike resisted the urge to flop forward onto Yngwie and instead pulled out and moved back a little, which was made increasingly difficult by the fact that his legs were beginning to fall asleep. Mike moved a little to one side and lay down next to Yngwie in an attempt to give him space. However, they still ended up as a mass of tangled limbs—not out of romance or a need to cuddle, but because the bed was _so freaking tiny._

They remained there like that for a few minutes, unable to speak as their breathing gradually slowed. Finally, when Mike felt he was once again capable of rational thoughts, Yngwie broke the ice.

“God, I hadn’t come that hard in over a year.”

Mike smiled. “Good. I was worried.”

Yngwie turned his head to face Mike, and the genuine smile returned to his face. “You did pretty well for your first time.” 

Mike smiled in response, but didn’t reply, basking in the sudden realization that he had just had sex with another man. Not only did he like it, but he had been thinking about it, even wanting it. Maybe Mandy had been right after all. _Well, at least I don’t have to worry about getting him pregnant._

“I don’t have to start bringing you flowers now, do I?” Mike quipped.

Yngwie chuckled. “Do I look like I need any fucking flowers?”

“Yeah, that’s true.” 

Yngwie didn’t respond. Instead, he had fallen asleep. Mike couldn’t help but laugh to himself. Yngwie wasn’t going to keep him awake to cuddle or talk about feelings or some shit like that. Just like him, Yngwie was a guy that had an orgasm and was going to fall asleep after being horizontal for a few seconds. 

Not only was Mike perfectly fine with that, there was no way he was leaving after that. He rolled over as much as he could and let himself fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. One of the things I was worried about was portraying Mike's internal emotional struggle, which probably anyone who isn't straight has had. I also channeled some of my own experiences from when I was questioning in there, and it's been going on for a couple of chapters now. I wanted to make it realistic, but no way in hell was I going to do the 250-page Fifty Shades of Gray internal dialogue. No one wants to read that shit, and I sure as hell didn't want to write it. I think I did okay though.
> 
> 2\. Messing around on a way too tiny bed: it's doable, but after you're done? Not fun. I speak from experience.
> 
> 3\. Having been married for almost four years (and knowing my husband longer than that), I can confirm that yes, men pretty much do fall asleep when they get horizontal, and they don't even have to be worn out first. This has been a disappointment at times, but let this be a lesson to any folks thinking of using pillows in their decorating schemes. If you're trying to seduce a guy, he'll get the wrong idea and you'll be on a date with Rosie Palms instead.


	7. Chapter 7

Yngwie was apparently a lighter sleeper than Mike, as there were times Mike would suddenly wake up to realize that Yngwie had moved away from him and was on the edge of the bed with his sketchbook and graphite pencils. At that point, however, Mike was too tired to say anything and would simply go back to sleep. Finally, there came a point sometime in the dead of night where they were both awake. Mike then decided to ask about something else he had been wondering about.

“So…tell me about this cosplayer.”

Yngwie laughed. “Oh man, you really want to know?”

“Yeah, you’ve got me curious now,” Mike replied, nodding. 

“The penthouse party they hold every year at the con is invitation only,” Yngwie recalled. “I was in the elevator taking some stuff back up to my room and the woman in there with me invited me. She wanted to fuck me. It was so obvious even I could tell.”

“I imagine she was disappointed?”

“Well, that was later. I didn’t know anyone up there, so I just went straight for the open bar and bumped into Alex. I still recognized him even though he was out of the Thor costume at that point. We just kept on talking, and he invited me to come down to the pool with him later. The woman from earlier never got the hint, but she finally did when he and I started making out down there.” Yngwie turned his head away from Mike, unable to keep himself from cracking up. “I still remember the look on her face. Was she ever pissed.”

Mike couldn’t help but laugh as he attempted to picture the scene in his head. 

“I made the mistake of saying something to Mandy when she asked me how the con was since she couldn’t go. Now she won’t stop making jokes about Thor’s hammer.”

“And I imagine you enjoyed getting pounded by Thor’s hammer?” Mike quipped.

Yngwie turned to face Mike and smiled again. “You kidding? I had him bent over and screaming like a banshee.”

“You fucking switch,” Mike replied with a wry smirk.

Yngwie shrugged and flashed one of his mischievous grins. “What can I say? I do what the situation requires.” 

There were a few brief moments of silence until Mike spoke again. “Well, you’ve thoroughly corrupted me. Congratulations.” 

“Well, you certainly didn’t seem to mind.” With that, Yngwie pushed himself up and rose to walk to the bathroom. 

Mike turned and noticed that Yngwie’s sketchbook was lying open on the table. Curious, he got up off the bed and walked over to the table to take a look.

Like so many other aspects of Yngwie, there was no rhyme or reason for the order of any of the past or present drawings. The sketchbook contained drawings of landscapes, buildings, tattoo ideas, and several different illustrations of a few different men that Mike assumed to be past paramours. Towards the end of the sketchbook were several drawings of Mandy. There were headshots, practice figure drawings, and several poses where Mandy was channeling her inner Vargas girl while modeling what had to be extremely expensive lingerie.

When Mike turned the page, the next image was a profile shot of a nude Mandy kneeling on the bed with her head turned towards the artist, smiling brightly. Her left hand was placed somewhere between her hip and the small of the back, and her right hand was on her right knee. Not only did she have rather perky nipples, but for being so short, Mandy had awfully long legs. Mike pondered the amount of mutual trust it must have taken for her to pose for Yngwie like that. 

The next page had been torn from the sketchbook. The final and most recent drawing was of Mike from the waist up, sleeping on his back. By this point, Yngwie had returned and was looking at the drawing over Mike’s shoulder.

Mike turned his head to face Yngwie. “Do I really look that ridiculous when I’m asleep?”

“Doesn’t everyone?” Yngwie replied with a shrug. “I had you right there, so I figured I’d better take advantage of it. The last drawing wasn’t turning out at all.”

Mike cocked his head in sudden realization. “So that’s what you were drawing the other night.”

“Yeah, and it was terrible. I couldn’t get the facial features right.”

Mike flipped back to the nude illustration of Mandy. “When did you do this?”

“Eight months ago. She was doing some modeling for extra money and asked me to do some drawings. Three days later, that one convinced her once and for all to keep her clothes on the whole time.”

“Yeah, I imagine that pose would get tiring after awhile, too.” Mike paused as he thought for a moment. “Wait, she’s not modeling anymore? Why not?”

“I asked her the same question. She said she’s been sending photos, but no one’s been interested.”

Mike shook his head. “Talk about missed opportunities.”

“You’re still interested in her, aren’t you? Because I’m totally cool with that.”

“Huh?” Mike asked, confused. “But, we…”

Yngwie smiled knowingly and looked right into Mike’s eyes. “Nothing is truly yours unless you’re able to share it.” 

Mike couldn’t help but get turned on at the thought of being passed between the two of them. “Well, as long as nobody’s keeping score or comparing notes…”

“I figured you’d say that.” Yngwie picked up his phone and checked the time. “I’ll need to open the shop in a couple of hours. I’m gonna go take a shower. Care to join me?”  
***  
Mike needed to clean up anyway before heading back to the SOL, so he figured he might as well join Yngwie and get a quick shower before he needed to get going.

…Well, that had been the plan, anyway.

It started out as a normal, completely utilitarian shower, but before long, the magnetism between them kicked in, and they were up against the shower wall, making out, groping, stroking, and pulling hair as the hot water beat down on them. 

Maybe that’s what made Yngwie so beguiling: the way he would aggressively grab and handle Mike while pushing against him, those rough kisses, and how he would force his tongue into Mike’s mouth like he _owned_ it. Even though he consented to be the bottom, it was very clear he was running the show. 

Whatever the case, Yngwie clearly loved it when Mike released his own aggressiveness and shoved Yngwie face forward against the shower wall, compensating for the height difference by placing one foot between the linoleum of the floor and the tile wall while ever so slightly arching up on the other foot as he nipped at the other man’s neck.

“Just like this,” Yngwie breathed as he turned his head to face Mike. “I want you. _Now._ ”

Before Mike had time to react, Yngwie reached outside of the shower and retrieved the bottle of coconut oil that had been sitting next to the straight razor and sharpening block on the sink. He kept his back turned to Mike as he prepared himself, gazing lustfully over his shoulder the entire time. Mike barely kept his composure as he fumbled with the oil, knowing full well from the gleam in the other man’s eyes that if he didn’t hurry up and get himself ready, there would be serious hell to pay. Never in real life, or in porn for that matter, had he seen anyone so aroused. 

Mike closed the bottle and quickly set it down on the shower floor. He placed his hands on Yngwie’s hips before guiding himself inside, and then once again raised his leg for leverage. Yngwie pushed his hands and forearms against the shower wall while arching his back towards Mike, partially for balance, but also to take him in deeper. With the anxiety and awkwardness of the previous encounter out of the way, Mike was able to fully release the carnality that had been building up inside of him since the two had first met, channeling all of the physical and emotional energy into a series of swift, intense thrusts.

“Come on, harder!” Yngwie snarled through gritted teeth as he occasionally reached down to stroke himself. _“Fuck me like you hate me!”_

With that utterance, the last of Mike’s mental and emotional barriers collapsed as the primal impulse of pure, feral lust consumed him. He kept one hand against the shower wall for support and pulled Yngwie’s hair with the other, losing himself in their grunting and harsh moaning as he ramrodded into the other man with all the speed and intensity he could summon. 

Mike reeled forward as his peak came in a series of tremors, unable to see past the blinding static in his head or comprehend anything other than the gradually subsiding twitching, his staggered breathing, or the cries of ecstasy close by. Once he was able to see again, he observed Yngwie attempting to clean himself up; which was made that much more difficult by the fact that his hands were still shaking. It must have been a good one, since he made one hell of a mess on the shower wall.

From the shaking in his calves, it was clear his legs would give out if he stood up much longer. Mike allowed himself to flop back against the shower door, and placed a hand against the handle to push himself back into a somewhat upright position. 

“God, what the hell do you do to me?”

“The same thing you do to me, apparently,” Yngwie replied as he reached up to grab the shower head, then proceeded to rinse off the wall in front of him. “I don’t know what it is or why, but I can barely control myself around you.”

Mike remained silent as Yngwie opened the shower door and stepped halfway out. Yngwie grabbed a towel from the rack against the wall near the sink, then turned back and smiled at him seductively

“You know, if I had you around more often, I might actually _like_ getting up for work in the mornings.” With that, he stepped out of the shower and closed the door.

Mike took a long, labored breath and picked up the soap.  
***  
They had been in the shower for way too long, and it was getting dangerously close to when Yngwie needed to open up the store. Also, it was probably a good idea for Mike to head back to the SOL to make sure it was still in one piece. Besides, by that point, there were only a few more hours to go before they were back to full power. Yngwie said he would stop by before Mike and the ‘bots left.

Mike knew that it still wasn’t enough time for Yngwie to get the SOL’s coordinates, but told himself not to say anything or think about it.

Everything looked normal on board. Even better, the hatch was in better shape than it had been when he had left. Gypsy had clearly been doing some repairs. She, Cambot, and Tom were at different areas of the bridge setting up some sort of domino chain. They were all too absorbed in what they were doing to notice Mike creeping along the wall to his room.

Crow was nowhere to be seen, but he was likely off working on the same project. This was a good thing. Mike could just go back to his room, get changed, and come out pretending that he had been sleeping, and that he had returned in the middle of the night.

Unfortunately, the domino chain was part of a larger Rube Goldberg setup the ‘bots had been building, and Mike did not see the skateboard component that he was about to step on.

Mike yelped as his entire body flew backwards before slamming on the ground. That bump on his head from the other day would soon come back with a vengeance. 

“Dammit, Mike!” Crow yelled from a distance. “We spent six hours setting up that part!”

Mike turned his head and saw fifteen separate rows of dominoes tumbling away from him. Out of the corner of his eye, he also saw the bottle of lube from the previous night lying nearby on the floor. He must have accidentally put it in his pocket while getting his things together.

_“Shit!”_ Mike lunged towards the bottle and reached out for it, clamping his fist around the bottle. He felt something cold underneath his hand and realized in dismay that there was a gold metal fist underneath his.

“That’s not mine,” Mike stammered. “Give it back.”

Crow pulled his fist back towards him and opened it to examine the contents. “Well now, what’s this? I didn’t think Mandy was such a freak.”

“It’s not Mandy,” Mike stated in resignation. By this point, the other ‘bots had gathered around and were also eyeing the bottle with a great deal of interest.

“We were wondering where you’ve been all this time,” Tom said playfully. Gypsy and Cambot exchanged quick glances. 

“So come on, tell us,” Crow said in the same tone. “Who’s the lucky girl?” 

By this point, not only was the cat out of the bag, but there was absolutely no shame left. “Yngwie,” Mike replied quickly and matter-of-factly before snatching the bottle from Crow’s hand and placing it back in his pocket. Prior to their reaction, Mike had no idea that Crow and Tom’s jaws could drop so wide open. 

“I _KNEW_ IT!” Gypsy cried.

Tom’s head exploded before he fainted dead away. Crow quickly glanced at Gypsy, who nodded sagely at him before he joined Tom in an unconscious heap on the floor. 

Cambot tilted to the left, raising his lens in the opposite direction.

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?!” Mike snapped.

Gypsy rushed over to translate. “It means, ‘It’s about time, you two.’ I agree.”

“Huh? About time?” Mike repeated, confused.

“It was painfully obvious from watching the two of you,” Gypsy explained. “The body language, the comfort level, and those looks you always gave one another.” Cambot nodded enthusiastically in agreement. “Well, obvious to everyone but them,” Gypsy added as she gestured towards the unconscious ‘bots on the floor. “But what do they know about anything anyway?”

Magic Voice broke her silence. “Obvious to everyone but Mike, it seems.”

“You too?!” Mike cried.

“Mike, if we had bothered to record the past couple of days, we could replay the film and point out all of the tells that both of you were showing,” Magic Voice continued. “This wasn’t ‘moth to a flame.’ This was ‘dwarf planet breaks its orbit and goes hurtling towards the sun.’” 

“Don’t worry, Mike.” Gypsy tried to pat Mike on the shoulder, but it ended up being more of a rough jab with her lower jaw. “I’ve got you covered. I already got a full espionage report on him while he was fixing the power source.”

“What do you mean?”

“Birthday is November 27th, so he’s a Sagittarius. Favorite band is Saxon, 6’2”, 190 pounds, waist size 32, shoulder size 42, loves pad Thai, or anything really spicy for that matter, parents split up when he was six, likes first-person shooters, doesn’t smoke or do street drugs—“

“You found all that out when he was here fixing the power source?” Mike inquired in disbelief. 

Gypsy nodded. “Once he really gets focused, he only half-listens, but responds to my questions anyway.”

“And you interrogated him? Why?”

“I only want the best for you, Mike.”

Mike buried his face in his hands. “We are _not_ having this conversation.”

“Sure we are. I’m standing here talking to you, right?” 

“That’s…not what I meant.” 

“Anyway,” Gypsy continued. “The three of us had already figured out what was going on, but it was confirmed once and for all when the two of you were outside making out. Like Cambot said then, the heat coming off you two could have melted the entire Antarctic.”

_“YOU WERE WATCHING?!”_ Mike shrieked in abject horror.

“Not on purpose,” Gypsy admitted. “Cambot and I were running some power tests and we headed out to the hatch to see if we could get enough energy there to make some repairs. Once we saw what was going on, we came back inside to give you two some privacy.”

Mike crumpled down to the floor, shaking his head. After what seemed like an eternity had passed, he changed the subject. “How long until we’re at full power?”

“Three hours,” Gypsy answered. “Cambot and I checked earlier this morning.”

“OK. Fine. I’m going to go die now.” Mike pushed himself up and headed back to his room. Cambot turned towards Gypsy and tilted his lens downwards.

“Overdid it? Nah,” Gypsy said. “Besides, you know Yngwie will come back to see him off anyway.” Cambot nodded.

“Speaking of that—“ Magic Voice began.

“Already taken care of,” Gypsy immediately responded.

“I figured as much,” Magic Voice replied before going silent once more.

Cambot tapped on Crow’s beak with his lens.

“Leave them,” Gypsy advised. “They’ll be awake again before too long. Come on, we’ve got some domino chains to rebuild.”


	8. Chapter 8

There were only five more minutes left before the SOL was back at full power. Mike stood inside the hatch, staring at the vast desert outside. He didn’t have enough time to go back into town, but leaving without a word, after all that—

Mike’s train of thought stopped when he saw Yngwie approaching in the distance. He waited until the other man was closer to say something. “Came to say goodbye?”

Yngwie nodded. “That, and Gypsy was a little concerned about how everything would work. What, she doesn’t trust me?”

“Who knows.” There were a few awkward moments of silence. “I…guess this really is goodbye.”

“Don’t say that. Mandy’s already decided she’s hunting you down later. She thinks you can all use some company.” 

Mike smiled and nodded. “That would be great.” 

“And here I thought this was going to be another job that I couldn’t wait to finish.” Yngwie looked into Mike’s eyes and grinned. “I’m glad I was wrong.”

“Me, too.” Since he’d never have another opportunity to say it, Mike figured he might as well. Besides, he wouldn’t be around for any potential blowback. “I was really pissed off about the wait to get back up and running at first, but I can honestly say the past two days have been the hottest of my life.” 

“Seems you need to work on that some more,” Yngwie said, beaming. Mike silently smiled back.

It was Yngwie’s turn to feel awkward. “I…guess I’ll see you around.”

Mike nodded. “Yeah.”

With that, Yngwie pulled Mike close and kissed him more gently than usual, but far deeper than before. Mike grabbed a fistful of Yngwie’s hair and moved forward, pressing back against Yngwie’s lips. They remained like that until Mike heard Gypsy loudly and curtly clearing her throat. He broke the kiss and turned his head to see Gypsy waiting in the hatch.

“If you two are quite done filming _Brokeback Mountain_ down there, we really need to get going before Pearl finds us,” Gypsy stated.

“…Yeah, sorry.” Mike released Yngwie and turned to follow Gypsy. His eyes narrowed in sudden realization. “Wait a minute. When were you watching that?”

“Oh, _details,_ Mike,” Gypsy grumbled as she turned around and headed back towards the bridge.

Mike then turned his head to face Yngwie. “I’ll see you around.”

“See you,” Yngwie repeated with a smile and a half-wave.

Mike followed Gypsy back to the control panel, where she began the startup sequence.

“Let’s see…” Gypsy said to no one in particular. “Full power, everything looks normal, this shouldn’t take too long…” 

Out of the corner of his eye, Mike noticed Cambot dart back towards the hatch, but soon returned his attention to what Gypsy was doing. The engines began to hum. “…And here we go.” Gypsy pulled the “UP” level and backed away from the control panel. 

Suddenly, the engines began to sputter, and the entire SOL shook. The engines then came to an abrupt halt, and the control panel went dark. 

“What just happened?” Mike inquired in confusion. “Didn’t Yngwie fix this?”

“I _thought_ I did,” Yngwie said as he followed Cambot to the bridge. “Let me check.” He pulled aside a metal cover that had not yet been screwed back into place and frowned at the sight. “Yeah, I did fix this. Somebody else has been messing with the orichalcium I put in.” Yngwie pointed to where the orichalcium had been deliberately shoved out of place.

“Well, what happened?” Magic Voice asked.

Gypsy and Cambot both rushed over to Yngwie; then looked up before bowing their heads.

“Forgive us, Mother, for we have sinned,” Gypsy stated. By this point, Crow and Tom had made their way over to the bridge, and looked just as confused as Mike and Yngwie did.

“Time to fess up, you two,” Magic Voice told Gypsy.

“Wait, what?” Mike asked.

“We knew that Yngwie wouldn’t be able to pick up the SOL’s coordinates in time before everything was back up and running,” Gypsy explained. “So we took the liberty of messing with the repairs, otherwise the two of you would never see each other again. Once that’s put back into place, it’ll take another 48 hours to power back up again. That way, you two can see each other anytime Yngwie decides to come by.”

“But won’t Pearl find us in the meantime?” Mike wondered.

“No need to worry,” Gypsy reassured him. “Yngwie, by any chance, did you notice that scrambler missing from the fifth shelf in the store? We got that installed, so Pearl won’t be able to pick up on our location.”

Yngwie eyed Gypsy suspiciously. “Wait, when did this happen?”

“Yesterday morning before you were open, I snuck in and swiped it. It’s not like you ever lock the door anyway.” Gypsy hung her head again. “Look, you can take whatever you want in exchange. Mike, Yngwie, I’m sorry. Go ahead and reprogram us into Carrot Top Mode if you want, but we just want you to be happy, and we did this for— “ Gypsy stopped mid-sentence when she realized that Yngwie and Mike were both doubled over in hysterical laughter. “Why are you laughing?”

Once Mike had finally caught his breath, he put an arm around Gypsy. “You two came up with an elaborate sabotage scheme just so Yngwie and I could continue…” He paused, not quite sure how to describe the situation. “Whatever the hell it is we have going on?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Thanks.”

Gypsy turned towards Mike and spoke with a baffled tone. “You’re not going to reprogram us into Carrot Top Mode?”

“Why the hell would I do that? I’m the one who has to live with you two every day.”

“…Yeah, good point.”

By this point, Yngwie had already returned the orichalcium to its proper place and replaced the metal cover. “That was easy enough,” he stated. “Like they said though, you’ll be stuck here a couple more days.”

“Wait a minute,” Mike said as a thought suddenly occurred to him. “Lilith, you were saying ‘fess up.’ Were you in on this too?”

“Actually, no,” Magic Voice replied. “They came up with the idea on their own. They just wanted me to keep quiet. And honestly, why wouldn’t I? I know what’s been going on.”

“Lilith?” Yngwie repeated, confused.

“I asked God what she wanted to be called,” Mike told Yngwie. “She says to call her Lilith.”

Yngwie grinned. “Goddess of sex and death? _Awesome!_ ”

Mike chuckled. “Of course you would know that myth.”

Yngwie looked straight into Mike’s eyes and smiled knowingly. “What? Nothing wrong with a little death every now and then.”

Mike felt his cheeks flush. “…Not in front of the ‘bots, please.” He paused briefly before speaking again. “Is Mandy working today?”

“No, she’s off. She’s having ‘picnic table’ redone today. Why?”

“I need to tell her she was right.” Mike noticed the confused look on Yngwie’s face. “Never mind.” 

“She’ll be back tomorrow. Mind if I come by again after closing time?”

“Well, you’re in luck,” Gypsy stated. “You happened to show up on our good movie night. Feel free to join us.”

“On one condition,” Tom piped up. “I sit between you and Mike.”

Mike couldn’t help but laugh. “You really think we’ll be making out with you guys there?”

“We’re more worried about what might happen when you two are done making out,” Crow added. “Anyway, what did we decide the movie was last week?”

_“Thor,”_ Gypsy replied.

Yngwie grinned mischeviously. “Chris Hemsworth? Yes, please.” 

Crow was about to make a sarcastic remark, but stopped in his tracks when he noticed Mike nodding enthusiastically. 

“Wait a minute…Mike, you—“

Crow gasped in shock and passed out. Tom stood rooted to the ground, jaw hanging wide open.

“What’s the big deal?” Gypsy asked Tom. “When you’re bi, you have the best of both worlds. 50% higher chance of scoring, remember?” With that statement, Tom’s head exploded. 

Mike gawked incredulously at Gypsy. “OK, I knew me saying that sort of thing would take you guys some getting used to, but you seem way too comfortable with it.”

“Hey, what do I care? You just get on with your bad self, now.” Gypsy blinked her eye at Mike, then turned to Cambot and changed the subject. “Come on. Let’s go find the DVD.” With that, she and Cambot headed off in search of digital entertainment.

The gawk remained on Mike’s face. “And suddenly I know way more about her than I ever cared to.” 

“I knew there was a reason I liked her best.” Yngwie leaned back against the wall and tilted his head towards Mike. “You wouldn’t mind if I spent the night, would you?”

Mike looked around to confirm that Crow and Tom were still unconscious, then looked back at Yngwie and smiled mischeviously. 

“Just keep it down.”  
***  
Mike Nelson just may have been the luckiest man in time and space.

For the past four months, he and Mandy spoke on Skype once a week. Mike had also been talking to Yngwie, but he had not heard from him for over a month since Yngwie headed off on one of his interstellar expeditions. Once he had the spaceship up and running, he made good on his ambition to get out and explore the far reaches of the universe. 

At this point, Mike was really starting to miss those calls. Sure, they’d catch up on each other’s lives and talk about whatever for hours on end. But even through the distance of time and space, the attraction remained, and Mike had no qualms about letting Yngwie take things to their logical conclusion. The fact that Yngwie had a mouth that could give Bree Olson the vapors only made it all the more enticing, especially once he switched to that enticing voice that not just anyone got to hear. 

Yngwie had only stopped by the SOL once, but Mandy had shown up five times. This could be good or bad depending on the situation. It was good in that the ‘bots loved her and would enough time hanging out with her to give Mike a break every now and then. Perhaps the fact that she took off her shirt in front of everyone (much to Crow and Tom’s delight, and Mike’s sudden astonishment) and pulled down her left bra strap to show off the butterfly she recently had tattooed on her left shoulder the first time she came by had something to do with it. Odds were she’d be doing that again, as she hadn’t had the wings colored in yet. That would come later. It turned out that the reason Mandy would have been short on rent money had she had to stay home from work was because she had already put down the deposit on getting “picnic table” changed to the butterfly. That had been quite the expensive mistake. 

The fact that the ‘bots adored and spent so much time with her was also a bad thing in that she and Mike hardly got any time alone. Even before they finally got around to finishing what they had started at the bar that one night, Mike still liked talking to her more than when the ‘bots were there. She never felt the need to censor herself around them (much to his chagrin at times), but when they weren’t around as a distraction, he actually got to really know her. It was no wonder she and Yngwie were so close despite the age difference. She was incredibly mature for her age, but still outgoing and up for any fun or adventure. Similar to Mike, she was an aimless rebel who didn’t want to fit in any stable career mold, since she couldn’t stand conforming to some rigid company culture or criteria. That was the main reason she worked at the bar, other than the tips: the job was flexible, and she could work as much or as little as she wanted, provided she had enough money to last until the end of the month. 

Although their personalities were somewhat similar, the place where Mandy and Yngwie diverged was in the bedroom. Mandy was the easygoing girl next door, as opposed to the forceful and intense Yngwie. Hers was a slow, tender touch, and thankfully, she was quiet. When she came, it sounded more like she had climbed several flights of stairs. With Yngwie, Mike ended up with bite marks on his hands from where he had to clasp them over Yngwie’s mouth to keep him quiet enough not to tip off the ‘bots.

Like he had with Yngwie, they also ended up forging a close friendship with benefits. Mandy occasionally sent Mike and the ‘bots gifts she would pick up on her travels, like salt water taffy or the souvenir mug she bought Mike on a beach trip. Hopefully she’d buy him another mug someday, since it broke when Mike threw it at the screen during a particularly bad movie. The only problem was that there were days Mike wished she hadn’t taught the ‘bots how to play Cards Against Humanity.

Mike, Crow, Tom and Cambot were in the middle of one of these games as Gypsy made her latest futile attempt to get the scrambler she had stolen from Yngwie back up and running. Either the scrambler was cheap or it was installed incorrectly, as it had ceased to operate after 72 hours. Once Pearl was in range of the SOL, she had been none too pleased about everyone being off the grid for as long as they had been and sent along an Adam Sandler doubleheader as punishment.

Mike picked up the next black card and read it out loud. “Things that your grandma finds disturbing, but oddly charming.” He flipped over the three white cards that the ‘bots set down in front of him. “Let’s see, we have ‘incest,’ ‘a sad handjob,’ and…” Mike read the handwritten words on the third card and gasped, recoiling in absolute shock. _“Double anal penetration?!”_

Crow’s jaw dropped as he gasped in horror. “Wha—can all that even fit up there?!”

Mike’s eyes widened. “OK, whoever came up with that one freaked out Crow. That’s a first.”

“Not me,” Tom said. “That’s just sick.” Cambot also shook his lens to either side.

Gypsy rushed over to the group. “Guys, I’m getting a distress signal from a half mile to the south.”

Mike held the offending card up to Gypsy. “Any idea who’s responsible for coming up with this?”

Gypsy paused as she closely examined the card. Finally, she announced, “That’s Mandy’s handwriting.”

Mike took another look at the card, and upon a closer look at the slant and width of the letters, grimaced when he realized Gypsy was right. “Oh, _goddammit._ ”

“Sorry to interrupt you guys,” Gypsy said again. “But, like I said, there’s a distress signal, and the coordinates look very familiar. Cambot, can you put down the cards long enough to give me Rocket #9?”

Cambot nodded and rushed over to the control panel. A few seconds later, the view screen opened to reveal a leather-clad figure alternating between attempting to steer his spaceship and cursing at unresponsive controls.

“Yngwie!” Mike yelled. 

Yngwie jumped back in his seat a little, startled. “Wait, Mike? Gypsy? You’re all here?”

“We saw the distress signal, but didn’t realize it was you,” Gypsy said. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, if I’d have known you guys were so close; I would have stopped by and asked for some help.” Yngwie banged a fist against his spaceship’s control panel. “I couldn’t get away from a solar storm in time and the radar’s shot. I’ve been going between trying not to hit anything and trying to find somewhere safe to land.” 

Gypsy nodded. “Tell you what. How about we bring you in and you can try to figure out what’s broken in the loading dock? We’ll drop you off somewhere if you need to get any new parts.”

Yngwie heaved a sigh of relief. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“Peppermint or wintergreen?” Tom wondered out loud.

“Ignore him,” Gypsy muttered. “This shouldn’t take long. Hang on.” With that, she rushed over to the control panel to join Cambot.

Crow changed the subject. “Anyway, Mike…who wins this round?”

Mike shook his head. “Honestly, from the reaction to ‘double anal penetration,’ whoever played that card did. I don’t even know where to begin with how wrong that is.”

“Not me,” Crow said.

“Not me,” Tom echoed.

Crow, Tom, and Mike all paused for a beat before the mental process of elimination kicked in and they all gawked at one another, flabbergasted.

A low rumble echoed from the SOL’s loading dock. Gypsy and Cambot rushed back over to the group.

“You know, Mike…” Gypsy began. “We still have that trunk full of your costumes from the previous sketches—“

“We’ve been over this before,” Mike replied tersely. “I am _not_ wearing the silver tank top and hot pants again.”

“Aww, but I think Yngwie would really like that!”

“No.”

“C’mon, what’s the big deal?” Crow chimed in. “It’s not like you’ll be wearing them for long anyway.”

“I _said_ no!” Mike repeated. “Whatever. I’m going to go give Yngwie a hand.” 

Crow managed to get out the words “I imagine you’ll be giving him more than just” before Mike clasped both hands around his beak and squeezed as hard as he could. Mike silently released Crow’s beak before heading down to the loading dock.

Tom turned to face Gypsy. “You realize they’ll be off somewhere screwing like rabbits, right?”

“It’s for our benefit as well as theirs,” Gypsy stated cryptically.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Crow inquired.

“Mike hasn’t discovered what happened to the Xbox One yet.”

“Hmm,” Tom muttered. “Has he figured out that the watermelon and the bottle of Orange Crush are missing yet?”

“No, but he was looking for rubber bands this morning, and didn’t seem too happy that they were all gone,” Gypsy answered. “Anyway…I figure if he’s getting laid…maybe he’ll just forget about it once he discovers all these things?”

The ‘bots all exchanged questioning glances. Finally, Gypsy broke the ice. “I won’t tell him if you don’t.”

“Deal,” Crow and Tom replied simultaneously.  
***  
By the time Mike reached the loading dock, Yngwie had exited his spaceship and was leaning against it with his arms crossed. He was dressed in his normal leather attire, with the addition of a motorcycle jacket he had picked up somewhere. 

“It’s no use,” Yngwie announced. “The actuator circuits are ruined. How far away are we from the closest planet?”

“Last I checked this morning, we were three days away from the Andromeda Galaxy,” Mike replied as he approached the other man. “I’m sure there’s someplace there that can help you out.”

Yngwie stood up and looked around for a few moments. Once he was satisfied that they were both alone, he threw all of his weight against Mike and slammed him against the side of the spaceship, pinning his wrists on either side as he kissed him fiercely, staying there for a few moments before releasing Mike as quickly as he had begun.

“Wow.” Mike staggered forward, emotions swirling in a hybrid of arousal and bewilderment. “I was beginning to wonder if you just got back from the war.”

“Let’s just say I’ve missed you,” Yngwie stated, smiling as he slipped off his jacket. “Hey, check it out. I finally had that tattoo done.” He turned his left side towards Mike to show off the inguz now prominently displayed on his upper left arm, about two inches below the shoulder.

“Nice. I should have figured you’d end up deciding on Norse runes.” Yngwie’s beam was contagious; and Mike couldn’t help but smile as well. “Think you’ll ever get any more?”

Yngwie shook his head. “Nah, this is it. Same with piercings; less is more. I don’t need to go around looking like the goddamned Sistine Chapel. Anyway…” He threw the jacket over his right shoulder. “You don’t mind me sticking around until we reach the Andromeda Galaxy?”

“Of course not. Though we’ll definitely be getting another movie in that time. Maybe if we just hid you somewhere…”

“I’ve been thinking about that. I’m beginning to wonder if Mandy and I might be able to help you guys escape. Assuming I can get her on board with the idea, of course.”

Mike’s eyes widened in interest. “You could do that?”

“Maybe. It’s just an idea at this point. I’m not really sure. Maybe Gypsy can help me work out some details later. For now…” Yngwie began heading back towards the bridge and glanced over his shoulder at Mike, grinning mischievously. “You and I have a lot of catching up to do.” He winked at Mike before walking away.

Mike laughed softly and grinned before following Yngwie back to the bridge. The next three days were going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I had been vacillating for the longest time throughout writing this whether Mike should nail Mandy or not. I decided yes, let's throw the guy a bone here.
> 
> 2\. I experienced a lot of the same feelings Mike did in life with my own bisexuality, but like I said, no need to write long "inner torment" sections. What I tried to get across here was not the issue that Mike is also bisexual (as I have always viewed both him and Joel,) but that he wasn't admitting it to himself. Now he's admitting and accepting it, though I did not initially intend to write Yngwie as a Closet Key. It just kinda happened.
> 
> 3\. If "double anal penetration" isn't in a regular Cards Against Humanity deck, it should be. One of my gay friends added that card to one of the white cards on his deck. The first time he played it, everyone reacted pretty much the same way Mike and the 'bots did.
> 
> 4\. The silver hot pants from the children's programming sketch in "Parts: The Clonus Horror" always gave me naughty thoughts. I imagine they would give them to Yngwie too.
> 
> 5\. In Norse runes, the inguz signifies a new phase of life and a new beginning: appropriate for Yngwie's exploring and realizing his ambition to do so at this point, as well as the fact that he is now expanding his horizons.
> 
> The inguz: http://whispersofyggdrasil.blogspot.com/2012/02/inguz.html


End file.
